


After Dawn

by heartsayshello95



Category: Until Dawn (Video Game)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, Nightmares, Panic Attacks, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Slow Burn, Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-21
Updated: 2016-03-19
Packaged: 2018-04-27 12:53:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 21
Words: 34,262
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5049355
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heartsayshello95/pseuds/heartsayshello95
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sam and Mike have trouble adjusting to life after dawn.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. I

Sam

Alberta Edmonton Hospital

15:05

“So tell me about your friends,” the doctor said, looking over the medical history form Sam had filled out earlier.

“My friends?” Sam asked. 

“The ones in the lodge that night.” The doctor readjusted himself in his seat and pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose. He was an older man. He’d been in practice since the late 80s, but he had never seen anything quite like this. He had spoke to every teenager that was involved.

Their story was not plausible. But each one truly believed it. The doctor didn’t quite know what to make of it. He thought maybe something so horrible happened to them on that mountain that they made up a wild story of supernatural creatures in order to deal with it. But that didn’t explain how their stories always lined up with each other. There were no discrepancies between their stories.

“Forgive me, I know it’s been in the news every day since you were picked up by the helicopter, but I didn’t follow it very closely,” he said.

“Why not?” she asked, picking at a lose thread in her hospital gown. Therapy was mandated as part of her recovery. None of the friends were released from the hospital until they’d gone through physical and psychological evaluations. 

Sam hadn’t had any contact with the other survivors since the police station. After their individual interviews, they were taken to the local hospital for further assessment. Chris had fucked up his leg pretty bad running from the Wendigo and Mike had amputated two of his fingers after he got caught in a bear trap. They both needed immediate attention. 

“Well,” the doctor started. “I saw the story on the morning news. It was still breaking then, so there wasn’t much information. No names. Just seven unconfirmed survivors of some sort of arson. But it wasn’t something I wanted to see.” 

“You’re in the wrong practice then, Doc,” Sam said. She rose and walked to the window. She lifted the curtain to peer outside. The press was waiting outside the hospital doors with cameras for any glimpse of the possible survivors. 

They were becoming famous. The Blackwood Seven they were named. The nurses attempted to keep the TV in her hospital room off the news channels, but there was only so much they could do. 

People were intrigued by the mystery of it all, especially after the strange emergency call from Emily and Matt was leaked to the public. No one but the seven survivors knew for sure what had gone down on the mountain that night.

“Vultures,” Sam muttered under her breath. She walked back to the couch.

“Samantha?”

“What?”

“You were going to tell me about your friends,” the doctor pushed.

Really, she wasn’t going to, but if that was her only ticket out of here she had to play along. 

“Right,” she said. “Well, there’s Jess. She’s dating Mike. And then there’s Emily who’s dating Matt. She used to date Mike. Then there’s Ashley who has a gigantic crush on Chris. Chris feels the same way but he never told her.”

“Sounds like plenty of teenage hormones to go around,” the doctor said.

“I guess,” she shrugged.

“What about you? Where do you fit into the whole equation?”

“I guess I don’t.” She groaned. “I don’t know. Hannah and I were best friends. When she and Beth went missing, I don’t know. I was still in the group. But there was no one I was really close with.”

“No one at all?”

“Well, I though Josh and I had a connection,” she sighed. “But apparently not.”

She started to pick at the thread again. 

“What kind of connection?”

“It wasn’t romantic. Not at all. But Josh would tell me things. He had a rough go of it after his sisters went missing. I thought he trusted me. I thought he knew that he could tell me anything, and I wouldn’t judge him. I was always fucking there for him. But in the end it didn’t matter.”

“You sound angry.” 

“Of course I’m fucking angry. If he hadn’t fucked with us the way he did things might be a lot different. Maybe he’d still be alive.” 

She could feel herself tearing up. She dug her fingernail, still painted blue with dried blood under the cuticle, into her leg. 

“To my knowledge, the police didn’t find a body. They’re still searching. He could still be out there.”

Sam shook her head. “If there’s one thing I know it’s that Josh is gone. I’ve seen what’s down in those mines and I would give anything to unsee it.”

Sam

Hospital Room

7:23

There was a knock at her hospital door.

“Just a sec,” she croaked. Sam hoped it the nurses. She had been told she was being discharged today and couldn’t wait to get as far from this place as she could.

She hobbled to the door. Sam remained largely uninjured, save for a few bruises and scratches. Despite her lack of injuries, her body ached with every move. She opened the door slowly.

Mike was standing there, hospital robes and all. His black eye and busted lip seemed to be slowing healing.

“Mike!” Sam said, surprised. They immediately hugged each other. They each had the fleeting thought that they had never hugged before, or even had a one on one conversation that last more than five minutes before the night at the lodge. Neither cared. They were just glad to see someone besides a doctor or nurse. 

Mike slipped in her room and Sam shut the door. 

“Are you allowed to be here right now?” Sam asked.

“Probably not. But, listen; I have to tell you something. Jess-”

“Where are the others? Have you talked to anyone else? Are they okay?” Sam had so many questions. None of the nurses would answer them because of doctor patient confidentiality. She had been driven crazy being by herself the past couple of days. 

“Slow down, Sam,” Mike said. “The others are okay. Emily and Matt were released yesterday. Emily threw a big bitch fit and got them released. They flew back home this morning. Ash was released too, but Chris has surgery tomorrow on his ankle, and she wants to be there for him when he wakes up.”

“That’s sweet,” Sam said. She was being genuine but it came out a bit sarcastic and jealous. 

“Yeah.”

“How do you know all this?” Sam asked.

“I’ve gotten good at sneaking around without being seen,” Mike said solemnly. Sam tensed up slightly. 

“What about Jess?” she asked. 

“That’s what I came to tell you.” Mike sighed. He sat on the edge of her hospital bed. “Sammy, they’ve taken her to the psychiatric ward.”

“Oh my God, Mike.” Sam sat next to him on the bed, putting a hand on his shoulder. “I’m so sorry.”

“It’s all my fault,” Mike said. “If I had gotten to her faster, I could’ve saved her. She wouldn’t have fallen down the elevator shaft. She wouldn’t have been in those mines all alone.”

“Mike, you can’t blame yourself. What happened to us was fucked up,” she paused. “You couldn’t have known what was going to happen.” 

“They won’t tell me anything because I’m not family,” he said. 

“Are Jessica’s parents here? Maybe you could ask t-”

“They hate me. So that’s not really an option,” Mike said.

“What? The student body president isn’t good enough for them?” Sam asked.

“The poor kid on financial aid isn’t good enough for them, yes,” Mike said. 

“Shit, Mike, I didn’t know,” she said. 

“I don’t make it a habit of telling people,” Mike said, standing up. “What about you?” he asked. “Where are your parents?” 

“Bermuda.” 

He scoffed. “Bermuda? Where the hell is that?”

“Fuck if I know,” she shrugged. “It was a getaway. No expenses spared trip to the deep jungle and sandy beaches. No cell service. No wifi. Nothing.”

“Wait, so you haven’t even talked to them?” He asked.

“Nope, they still think I’m having the weekend of my life up in the mountains. It’s fine though,” she said, after seeing Mike’s look. “When they get home on Wednesday I’ll explain everything. It’s only two days from now.” 

“How are you getting home? Where are you staying?” Mike asked.

“That’s a good question. My keys and wallet were burned in the fire.” Sam pondered for a moment. “I’ll call Emily and borrow some money from her to buy a plane ticket. She knows I’m good for it. Once I get home, I’ll find a way to break into my house, I guess.” 

“You can stay with me. I’m driving home today. We have a guest room,” Mike offered. 

“Mike, that’s really not necessary. I’ll be fine,” Sam said.

“You saved my life twice. Let me do this small favor for you.” 

“You’re not going to stop until I say yes, are you?”

“Nope,” Mike said with half of a smile.

“Alright,” Sam said. “I’ll go.”


	2. 2

Mike

Hospital Room

10:45

“They found out our fucking names,” Mike said angrily. He sat on the small couch in Sam’s room while she lay in the bed. They had been watching the news for hours.

Their names and faces were plastered on every news station imaginable. Pictures from Facebook had been given to the news stations. Any and every detail of their private lives were now for everybody to know. 

“This is bullshit,” Mike said.

“It was going to happen eventually,” Sam said. “No one involved was a minor. It’s public information.” 

“The Blackwood Seven were all confirmed to be alive earlier today by police chief Darron Joseph,” the reporter started. “In the press release he said that all the survivors were recovering from their injuries at Alberta Hospital Edmonton. One of the survivors is in surgery today for a broken tibia. Some of the others have already been released.

“One of the teenagers involved in the mountain incident is still missing. If you have any information on the whereabouts of Josh Washington please call the hotline at the bottom of the screen.” 

A picture of Josh appeared on the screen. It was his yearbook photo from senior year. Sam felt sick to her stomach. 

“That name might sound familiar as the Washington family is well know for the horror movies they have produced such as When the Sun Comes Up, The Blackest Day, and Into the Night. Their two daughters, Hannah and Beth Washington, had gone missing exactly one year ago. It is unknown at this time if their disappearance can be linked to the arson that occurred on Saturday morning.” 

The screen switched to a police chief with about ten microphones belonging to different news companies shoved in his face. “As of now, we can confirm that arson was committed on the Washington property. The investigation is ongoing. It is made difficult by the icy conditions of the mountains, but we will figure out what happened that night,” the chief said.

The screen switched to seven different pictures, one of each of the seven friends. Each picture was their Facebook profile. Emily’s was picture of her in a bathing suit as some promotional work she had done for a bar earlier this year. Matt’s was a professional football photo taken their senior year. Jessica was making a duck face in hers with a skin perfecting filter. Chris’s was of him with his eyebrows raised and his hair disheveled. Sam’s was her at her favorite rock climbing gym, throwing up a peace sign. Mike’s was at some party with a red solo cup in his hand, and his eyes were closed. 

“Christopher Fleiss, Micheal Munroe, Samantha Panettiere, Jessica Martin, Ashley Stineman, Emily Bloom, and Matthew Fischer all joined their friend Josh in parent’s lodge on February 2nd for fun and relaxation. But their night was anything but. According to the Blackwood Pines Park Ranger Service, the evidence scatters all the way up to the condemned Blackwood Pines Sanatorium and all the way down to the mines that had been abandon over fifty years ago. We’ll be sure to fill you in on more information as it comes in. We’ll be right back.” 

The TV faded into some commercial for foot cream. 

“Turn it off,” Sam said, exhausted. 

Mike did. “This is all so fucked.” 

“Mike, it’s not that bad,” Sam said. “As soon as some celebrity ODs or something they’ll today forget about all this.” 

“The longer this is in the press the more likely we will go to trial,” Mike said.

“What are you talking about?”

Mike rolled his eyes. “Do you really think the police believed all that shit about the Wendigo? It doesn’t matter what actually happened. How they explain it matters. How they twist it.”

“Mike, you’re being crazy,” Sam said. But she knew he was right. 

“Listen, Sam. Josh is still missing, and without a body, without a definite answer of what happened to him we’re all at risk. Do you think the Washingtons are just going to forget that we were all there when Hannah and Beth went missing? And now Josh? We all look guilty as shit right now.” 

Sam pursed her lips. He was right. If they couldn’t prove what went down that night, they might end up going away for a long time. 

“Sam, we have to stick together on this, okay? Whatever happens. We all have to stick to our story.”

“Fuck,” Sam muttered. “Em.” 

“Do you think she told them?” Mike was referring to when he held a gun to her head and threaten to shoot. They though she was infected. They thought she would turn into one of them. He was doing what he thought was right, but he couldn’t bring himself to do it. 

“Is that even a real question?” Sam asked. Of course she would have told them. 

They were interrupted by a knock at the door. 

“Yes?” Sam asked.

A nurse opened the door and rolled a wheelchair in the room.

“Samantha, your paperwork is all done. You can go home now,” the nurse said. Sam felt a rush of relief and jumped out of her bed immediately. 

“Wait, what’s the wheelchair for?”

“Sorry, Samantha,” the nurse said. “Hospital policy.”  
Sam groaned and reluctantly sat in the chair. The nurse wheeled her out of the hospital room, Mike trailing behind them. 

Mike

Pickup truck

15:30

Mike had been driving for hours. Sam was curled up, unmoving, in the front seat with her back to him. Sam was wearing ill-fitting clothes that the hospital had given her from their lost and found box. She had on a pair of sweatpants that were a few sizes too big. They had trouble staying above her hips, even with the string pulled tight. She was wearing a tank top that had some band on it that Mike had never heard of. 

Even in sleep, Sam was strong. She was unmoving. Nothing scared her. Even when they were down in the mines, she was determined to find Josh. She refused to give up, unlike Mike who left Josh to die. 

The wendigo had Josh by the throat. Mike was frozen in the water. He had no weapon. His mind was full of only fear. There was nothing he could have done to save him. 

He thought about the lodge. After he crushed the light bulb, the Wendigo came after him. Mike could still hear her voice clear as anything.

“Hey!” she had hissed at the Wendigo. Her voice was sharp and steady, like it was readying for the attack. 

He was never going to be able to repay this girl for all the things she had done for him. 

His eyes wandered back to the road. There had been no other cars for miles. Just the expansive Canadian hills. He rolled his shoulders and stretched his legs beneath him. 

A gray figure with milky eyes and jagged, broken teeth blocked his windshield for a split second. He slammed on the brakes. This sent Sam, who was not wearing a seatbelt, flying forward.

“Fuck!” she yelled. She put her hands in front of her as a reflex. She slammed back in her seat and looked at Mike. “What was that?”

“Sorry,” Mike fumbled. “Thought I saw a deer or something.” 

“Mike, we’re in the middle of nowhere, what are you talking about?” Sam asked.

“Fuck,” Mike muttered. “Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.” 

“Do you want me to drive for a bit?” Sam asked. 

“Sure, yeah, okay,” Mike said. Sam got out of the car, and walked over to the driver’s side. Fucking get it together, Mike, he thought to himself. 

His fingers were barely working enough to unhook his seatbelt. He slid out of the car and they switched spots. 

Once back on the road, Sam asked, “How are your fingers? Or lack thereof.” 

Mike look at his hand. “Dunno. Still feels like they’re there. The doctors said that’s normal though. But I guess my piano playing career is out of the window.” 

“Piano?”

“It was a joke. I don’t actually play. But I guess I couldn’t even if I wanted to now.” 

It was silent for a while. Not an uncomfortable silence, but a silence they understood.

“Mike?” Sam asked. 

“Yeah?” He looked over at her. 

“I have this memory,” she started. “Honestly, I don’t know if it was a memory or just a dream I had once. But I was at Hannah’s for a sleepover years ago. I think I was like ten. I guess my age doesn’t really matter. But anyway. It had snowed overnight. So Beth, Hannah, Josh, and I all went to play outside. We were having the biggest snowball fight. Girls vs. boys. That’s what Hannah suggested.

“We were all bombarding Josh with our snowballs, but I decided to trick Josh into thinking I’d switched over to his team. He made me spit-shake that I wasn’t a double agent, just trying to get a better shot at him. So we threw snowballs at Hannah and Beth for a while. And then when Josh wasn’t looking I shoved a handful of snow down his back. He called me a traitor and tackled me to the ground. We were both laughing. He took as much snow as he could and shove it down my coat.

“I guess what I’m saying is I’ve been a double agent for too long, and Josh finally called me out on it. He trusted me after everything that happened last year and I let him down. And we can’t just shake the snow out of our coats this time.”


	3. Chapter 3

Mike

Munroe Household

17:34

“Turn in here,” Mike said.

Sam pulled into the driveway of a small house and parked Mike’s truck in the driveway. As soon as they exited the vehicle, a petite, older woman with brown hair ran up and bear hugged Mike. Mike put his arms around her. 

“Michael! Oh my God!” She pulled away from him. And put her hand on his cheek, surveying his facial wounds. “Oh my God. Oh my God. What happened to you? Oh I should’ve come to the hospital. You told me everything was fine. This is not fine.” 

“Mom, it’s okay. I’m fine. There’s no need to worry,” Mike said. 

She kept checking him for wounds, and stopped at his left hand. “Michael! Oh my God! Why didn’t you tell me? What happened?”

He jerked his hand away from her. “Mom, it’s okay. Everything’s fine. It doesn’t even hurt anymore.”

“It’s not fine, Michael! You lost your fingers!” his mother said. “How did this happened?”

“It’s my fault. I was being stupid,” Mike said.

His mom furrowed her brow. 

“Mom, this is my friend Sam,” Mike said. Sam stepped forward.

“Mrs. Munroe,” she greeted. 

“She going to stay in the guest room until her parents get back. They’re out of town,” he said.

“Really, I can go home. It’s not a big deal. My parents will be home on Wednesday. I’m sure there’s an extra key somewhere,” Sam said. 

“Any friend of Michael’s is welcome here,” his mom said. She touched Sam’s arm lightly. “Are you doing okay?” 

Sam lips stretched thin in an attempt to smile. “I’m doing okay. Ya know, under the circumstances.”

“Well, if you need anything, I’m here, okay?” She smiled lightly. “Come in, both of you. The boys are inside.”

“Prepare yourself,” Mike murmured to Sam as they walked in the house. 

Sam didn’t know what he meant at first. Inside was a cozy living room with two boys sitting on the couch talking. 

“Hey! Mike!” the older one said. 

He looked a lot like Mike, except taller with a military buzz cut. He slapped Mike on the back and then hugged him. 

“Donavan?” Mike laughed. “I thought you were gone until the end of May?”

“Well, when your baby bro makes the news it warrants a day off,” Will laughed. 

“Mom won’t tell us anything,” the other boy said. He was still planted on the couch. He looked only a few years younger than Mike with long hair and a scowl on his face. 

“Not much to tell,” Mike said. He looked over at Sam. Sam nodded. He didn’t want to scare his family; Sam understood that. “This is my friend Sam. She’s going to stay with us for a few days.” 

“Nice to meet you, Sam,” Donovan said with a wink. Sam couldn’t help but smile a bit.

“Is it true? What they say on the news?” the boy on the couch asked. “There was a maniac on the mountain trying to kill you all.”

“Sean, shut it. You’ll upset Mom,” Mike said. 

“What happen to your hand?” Sean asked, pointing to his bandage.

“Sean. Stop,” Donavan warned. “He doesn’t wanna talk about it.” 

“Whatever.”

“Respect your elders,” Donavan said. He smacked Sean upside the head, playfully, but hard enough to make a point. 

“Dinner’s ready!” his mom called from the other room. 

Sam

Guest Room

23:47

Sam couldn’t bring herself to turn off the lights. She had gotten up to turn off the lights three times, but retreat back into her bed every time without going through with it. 

Mike’s family had been so accommodating. His mother had even put fresh sheets on the bed. 

She got up a final time, pacing back and forth. “Shit, Sam. Get yourself together.” She didn’t turn off the lights. Instead she looked at the knick knacks on the bed side table. 

There was a picture of a younger Mike and Donavan and Sean. Maybe ten and fifteen and six respectively. They were all smiling widely. Mike was in the middle with his arms slung around the other two. She picked up the frame, smiling at the picture.

“Cute, huh?” a voice behind her said. It made her jump.

“Jesus, Mike. You scared me,” she said turning around. Mike was standing in the doorway wearing a white tank top and plaid pajama pants. 

“Sorry. I couldn’t sleep.”

“Me either,” she said, setting down the photos. “I didn’t know you had brothers.” 

Mike chuckled. “Yeah, they can be a little much. Ever since Donavan enlisted we only see him once or twice a year. He has to leave in the morning.”

“You seem close,” Sam said. 

“We are. Sean’s not a bad guy either. He’s… complicated. Used to be a lot more fun to be around,” Mike said. 

“I always wanted siblings,” she said. She laid down in the bed, facing away from Mike. “Sit down,” she said patting the bed. He did. “The Washingtons were kind of my pseudo family. But…”

Mike laid down beside Sam. They were about six inches from each other. For a while, they just laid there without speaking. There was no sound, but the snow falling outside. Mike facing the ceiling, and Sam with her back turned to him.

“Mike?” Sam asked.

“Yeah?” 

“Stay with me would you? Just until dawn.”

“Until dawn,” he repeated.

Mike

Guest Room

5:34

Sam was still asleep. At some point in the night, she had curled up into a little ball behind Mike. Her head touching his shoulder; her knees touching the small of his back. 

There was a quiet knock at the door. Mike slowly got up, careful not to disturb Sam. On his way to the door, Mike flipped off the light switch. With the morning light shining through the windows, the lights didn’t need to be on. He opened the door and carefully stepped out. 

“I figured you’d be in here,” Donavan said, smirking. He was in full uniform. Even though he had been a military man for over a year now, it was still weird to see him like this. 

“Are you leaving?” Mike asked.

“Unfortunately, yes. I gotta be back by midday.” 

“Well, it was good having you here.”

“Michael, can you stop?” Donavan said.

“Stop what?” 

“Faking it. Listen, I don’t know what happen to you two up in that mountain, but it must’ve been pretty damn bad. I’ve never seen you like this,” Donavan said. “You two look like you just came out of a warzone.”

“I don’t know what you want me to say. You’ll never believe the truth,” Mike said.

“Then talk to someone that does believe you.” Donavan jutted his chin in the direction of the bedroom where Sam was sleeping.


	4. Chapter 4

Sam

Guest Room

8:26

Mike was gone when Sam woke up. She wondered how long he had stayed in her room, if he stayed at all. 

The first thing she did was check her phone. No calls. One text. It was from Ashley.

Chris is out of surgery. Everything went well. We’ll be heading home soon. Class starts tomorrow. No word on Jess. Tell M I’m sorry. xx ash

Until now, she’d forgotten they all had lives beyond the lodge. They all had something to go back to.

Ashley, Chris, Em, and Matt all went to the same college a couple of cities away from where they went to high school together. Jess had taken a gap year. She worked at a coffee shop and gave free drinks to all the cute boys. Mike, Sam and Josh went to the local community college.

It wasn’t that Sam couldn’t afford a university; she just didn’t know what she wanted to do with her life. She wasn’t going to waste time and money unless she was absolutely positive.

Josh had wanted to go to the Toronto Film School, but after many long fights with his parents they convinced him not to. His parents didn’t trust him so far away from home. Far away from his therapist, his friends, and them. 

It was hard to watch the light behind his eyes slowly die because of being held back. Perhaps she should have said something, told him to fight back harder. Maybe she was being selfish. Maybe she was being smart. 

It was always black and white with Josh. He would either be really sad or really happy. Sam loved it when he was happy. He would make her laugh until her sides hurt, help her with homework (Josh was always the smart one), and sometimes read the latest script he was working on.

But on his bad days he would be distant, not go to class, and sometimes ignore Sam altogether. One time in the parking lot he started screaming at Sam that she was too fleeting. She was always slipping away. He thought she was just going to blow away in the wind one of these days. Sam didn’t understand what he was saying, but she let him yell at her. 

She let him yell at her until he was too dizzy to stand. She drove him home and put him in his bed. He was crying, and she was crying too but for different reasons. 

Mike

Munroe Household

8:30

Mike drove his brother to the airport and then stopped to get donuts and coffee. 

When he returned, Sam was no longer in the bed. His heart started beating faster, his mind immediately jumping to the wendigo. Somehow they got off that God forsaken mountain and had found them. 

Then he heard the shower turn off. He sighed, embarrassed slightly for letting himself get so worked up over nothing. 

Sam walked out in nothing but a towel. She was holding her clothes in one hand. Ms. Munroe had let her some of Mike’s old clothes. They would be big on her athletic frame, but she was just grateful for clean clothes. She smirked when she saw Mike.

“We’ve got to stop meeting like this,” she said. 

“Guess so,” Mike laughed. 

She twirled her index finger. “Turn around.” 

He did. “I brought donuts,” he said. “They’re vegan. So I don’t really know how good they are.” 

“Thanks, Mike,” she said, pulling her sweatpants above her hips. 

Now fully clothed, she came up behind him and took the donuts out of hands. They both sat on the bed with their legs crossed and the box of donuts between them. 

“Ashley texted me. Chris is out of surgery and they’ll all be back at college soon,” she said.

“And Jessica?” Mike asked.

“They don’t know anything either, sweetie. I’m sorry.”

“I should’ve stayed at the hospital. I should’ve been there for her,” he said. 

“Mike, there’s nothing you could do. You need to be here at home with your family.” Sam felt herself start to say ‘and with me’, but she bit her tongue. “Jess is doing what she has to in order to heal. To get past all this shit and move on with her life. You have to do the same.”

Mike

Munroe Household

19:09

Jess called him that evening. Sam was out. She decided she needed to go for a run.

“Michael?” 

“Jess?” he asked. “Is that you?”

“Yeah.” She sounded distant. Like she was drifting further and further away from the phone. He had been so worried about her, but now that she was here, just a telephone away all words escaped him. Michael Munroe always had something to say. The Mike that survived until dawn didn’t.

“I’m in a hospital,” she said. “I remember we were in the lodge by the fire. I don’t remember anything after that. Just falling. And darkness.” 

“Jessica, I’m so sorry.”

“Please tell me what happened. Quickly. Before they come back for me. They don’t want me to talk to any of you. I think they think you did this to me.”

“They? Who is they?” 

Jess was silent. 

“Jess, please talk to me. What’s happening?” Mike begged. 

“Michael Munroe,” she said drawing out every syllable of his name. She was scaring him. He’d never heard Jess so completely out of it. “The great Michael Munroe. Every girl had a crush on you in high school. I was so excited when you broke up with Emily. You don’t do commitment you told me. You made it clear you weren’t looking for another relationship. Even then you were the most romantic guy I ever had. I even stayed when I found out you cheated on me with Em. I was so fucking dumb.”

“Jess…” he started. But he didn’t know what to say. He had cheated on all his girlfriends since high school. That was what he did. He didn’t have any excuses. He was a shitty excuse for a human being. He was a slut, but the thing was, no one had ever hated him for it. 

“It’s my fault,” she continued. Mike started to protest but she told him to shut up and listen to her. “I wanted to take things slow. But Michael Munroe doesn’t ever take things slow. You had me fooled. I’m sorry you never got to fuck me.” 

She started to laugh. “Michael Munroe, they’re coming for you. All of you. You all will have to pay for what you’ve done.”  
“Jessica, what the hell are you talking about?” 

“Goodbye, Michael.” 

Sam

Washington Household

20:01

Sam ran and ran. She ran until her lungs ached with every breath. She ran until she couldn’t see the Wendigo that once was Hannah. She ran until she was in front of the Washington house. 

She must have gone miles to end up here. The lights were on. The Washingtons were home. If this was two years ago, she could have waltzed in without any notice. Melinda Washington had given her a key years ago. She was always welcome whether the kids were home or not. The bed in their guest room was always made up for Sam. She even kept a few items of clothes and a toothbrush at their house. 

That felt like another life to Sam. 

She looked up to Josh’s room. It was on the second floor. His window was easily accessible from the roof. She climbed on their trashcan and reached for the roof near Josh’s room. She pulled herself up slowly and crawled toward his window. 

She looked inside. His bed was unmade, and there were clothes on the floor. His papers were strewn across his desk. It looked like he would arrive back to his house any minute. But Sam knew better.

She opened the window slowly. Josh always kept it unlocked. She stepped in the room. Sam’s stomach turned on itself. The last time she had been in Josh’s room was the night he tried to kill himself.

His parents were out of town. He swore to them that he’d be fine spending the weekend alone. He downed all of his pills and texted Sam.

Guess what I did? She thought he was joking at first. You understand me don’t you, Sammy? She was already on the way to his house. I wish I could love you the way you deserve to be loved.

He had locked all the doors. Even the window. She broke it trying to get in. I’m afraid to die. Sam found Josh in the shower semiconscious. I’m almost home. 

She stuck her fingers down his throat. The shower was on. She held him and they both were soaked. His hair was matted to his forehead. She held onto him hard, as if he was just going to slip down the drain along with the pills.


	5. Chapter 5

Sam  
Josh’s Room  
20:15

 

Sam didn’t know why she came here in the first place. There was nothing left for her here. The plans of Josh’s prank were all over his room. There were blueprints taped to the wall, and notes scattered across his desk. She felt sick.

She had done nothing but be there for him. She was so angry that he did this to her. To all of them. She was so hurt by him. Her eyes drifted to a picture of the two of them from their senior prom. 

Josh had one arm wrapped around her waist. Her head was tilted back and her eyes were closed in midlaugh. Josh was looking at Sam, his mouth open, in the middle of a joke. Their faces were slightly blurry. They had taken the photo several times, but this one was their favorite. Sam had the same one framed in her room. 

They went as friends. Sam’s boyfriend had broken up with her a week before but she had already bought her dress and paid for her prom ticket. So Josh offered to go with her. He had graduated a year earlier and wasn’t planning to go to prom, but Josh was always done for a party. 

Josh got really drunk that night. He ended up hooking up with some girl from Sam’s math class in the bathroom. 

She heard Bob and Melinda shuffling around downstairs. Sam didn’t want to be caught in his room. She didn’t know if she could ever look them in the face again. 

She slipped out of the window and headed back to Mike’s house. 

 

Mike  
Mike’s Bedroom  
0:32

Mike couldn’t sleep. He didn’t know if he’d ever be able to sleep alone again. The lights were off. Every time he closed his eyes he saw Jess falling down the elevator shaft. Josh being dragged away by the wendigo. The glass from the light bulb cutting his palm. The explosion throwing Sam out of the lodge. The warmth of the flames licking his face up and down. 

He sighed and rolled over onto his other side. Mike jumped slightly when there was a knock on his door.

“Mike?” Sam murmured. “Are you still awake?” 

“Yeah,” he answered. “Come in.”

Sam slid in the room and closed the door behind him. “I couldn’t sleep,” she said. Mike nodded his head in agreement. Sam laid down beside Mike. He didn’t protest. The only light was the moonlight pooling at the foot of the bed from the window. 

Mike watched Sam, trying to understand her. Sam didn’t meet his eyes. The two friends laid side by side. Two friends that barely knew anything about each other, but had somehow been brought together by an extreme twist of fate. 

Sam’s hair was still wet from her shower. She twirled a wet piece of hair along Mike’s arm, leaving a trail of water on his skin. 

“I used to really hate you,” Sam said. Mike said nothing. He knew Sam never really liked him. She continued leaving water droplets on his arm. “After Hannah and Beth, I blamed you. I blamed everyone. Josh was the only one who was completely innocent. He was the only one I wasn’t mad at. But now I think I realize it doesn’t matter whose fault it is. It doesn’t matter whose idea it was. We all let it happen.”

“It never would’ve happened if I hadn’t agreed to participate. I was an asshole to Hannah for no reason,” he said. Sam nodded in the dark. She bit her lip.

“I went to Josh’s house today,” Sam said. “On my run. I don’t know. I just ended up there. I didn’t mean to.” She looked up at Mike, expecting him to be surprised. He looked concerned, but let her speak. “There’s all this evidence in there, Mike. Of his prank.” Mike looked like he was concentrating hard. “I just thought you should know,” she added. 

“We need to tell the police. It will confirm everything we’ve told them,” Mike said, exhausted. “Not everything.” Not the wendigo. “But everything Josh did to us.” He was right. Most of the evidence was burned in the fire. The police wouldn’t find any indication of the prank. 

Sam closed her eyes. “I don’t want to talk about this anymore.” She resituated herself on Mike’s bed. “Tell me a story.” 

“A story?” Mike asked.

“Yeah.”

“I think I’m going to adopt a dog,” Mike said. 

“Oh?” 

“Yeah like a husky or a German Shepherd or something.” He wanted to tell her about the wolf in the sanatorium. Another time, he thought. She was trying to sleep. “Will you come with me to the animal shelter tomorrow?” 

“Mhmm,” she mumbled. She put her finger to Mike’s lips. “Go to sleep, Michael.” 

 

Sam   
Mike’s Bedroom   
11:32

Sam never slept this late. Usually, she woke up at 6:30 to go work out before her classes. Josh thought she was crazy for taking morning classes. The boy couldn’t be bothered to get out of bed a minute before 11. 

The college called Mike and Sam the previous day. They were in no hurry for them to return. The advisor they spoke to suggested they drop their classes and take the semester off, and try again next semester. 

Sam was unsure if she wanted to return to class like nothing had happened, but Mike was adamant about going back as soon as possible. Mike couldn’t afford to take a semester off. 

If Sam did go back, she would have to deal with the questions and the stares that were sure to come. At the same time, she didn’t want Mike to face it alone. They were in this together. 

Mike was still asleep. At some point during the night he had curled around Sam, his arm resting across her stomach. His mouth was slightly open. His chest rose and fell rhythmically. The front portion of his hair was sticking up in three different directions. 

He looked more or less like the same Michael Munroe she always knew. But something about him was different. Sam wondered if Mike saw the same change in her. 

He looked softer. His features were quieter, his skin paler. His eyes had bags under them. He hadn’t shaved for a couple days. Unlike his usual clean shaven look, he now had some scruff on his face. 

Today was Wednesday. Her parents would’ve gotten home this morning. She knew she needed to go talk to them, but all she wanted to do was stay in bed with Mike.   
It’s not even like they cared. They never have before. They were always too busy with their art galleries and expensive clothing and weekend trips to New York.

“What are you thinking about?” Mike’s voice made her jump. He moved his arm off of her and sat up. “Sorry, didn’t mean to startle you.”

“No,” Sam said. “You’re fine. Don’t worry about it. I was just thinking about my parents.” She sighed. 

“They back yet?” he asked. 

“I don’t know. I guess I’ll see. I have to go back sometime.”

“Do you want me to come?” Mike asked. 

Normally, Sam would never ask for help. She had been fiercely independent since she was born. Her high school boyfriend had broken up with her for that very reason. You don’t need me, he had said. You don’t need anybody. 

“Yes.” 

 

Mike  
Panettiere Houshold  
13:36

As soon as they pulled into the neighborhood, they knew something was wrong. News vans were parked outside. People with cameras lined the streets. 

“Fuck,” Mike muttered. He slowed down the truck. The wave of cameramen and reporters parted as the red truck made its way down the street. They were taking pictures of the two teenagers. 

“What the hell?” Sam sat up in her seat. “Why are they here?”

Mike parked the car in front of Sam’s house. “Stay in the truck.” He slammed the door behind him, heading straight for the cameras with a wild look in his eyes. If he had said that to any other girl, she might have listened. But this was Sam. And Sam did not ever just stay in the truck. 

Sam went after Mike, catching up to him before he reached the press. She pulled him back by his arm. “Mike, it’s not worth it.” 

 

“Sam, they can’t fucking do this to us,” Mike muttered to her, only slightly out of earshot of the cameras. “We can’t let them.”

“Yes, they can,” she said, shrugging. “Come on.” She held out her hand. “Let’s just go inside.” 

He hesitated slightly. The cameras were trained on the two teenagers. He took her hand with his injured one. She laced her fingers in his lightly. She didn’t want to hurt him. He squeezed her hand in reassurance. 

They walked together, hand in hand. The reporters watched them wordlessly. Mike knocked on the door to Sam’s house. They waited on the porch still holding hands. Mike and Sam looked at each other. Sam nodded slightly. Mike’s lip twitched as if he was about to smile. The door opened. 

Before walking into the house, they both turned around and gave the middle finger to the press.


	6. Chapter 6

Sam  
Panettiere Household  
13:40

Sam’s mother was an artist. Her father, a curator. Samantha had been brought up in a creative home. They weren’t rich like the Washingtons, but they were comfortable. They taught her to play instruments and made her write her feelings in journals, hoping she would follow in the family’s footsteps. 

But she was also more interested in climbing trees and playing in the dirt than she was in learning how to play the piano (her parents made her perform in recitals until she was 16). She loved being outside. She loved running around and making a lot of noise. Her parents were perpetually shushing her while her mother was working on her latest painting or her father was securing the newest deal. 

She stopped eating meat at 10 years old. By 14 she wouldn’t eat any animal product. It was never hard for her. She loved animals, but her parents would never let her have a pet. The closest thing she got was a turtle she named Charlie. She wasn’t allowed to take him out of his cage. 

Her mother embraced her in a hug once the door was closed. “Samantha!” she exclaimed. “Why didn’t you call us?” She took Sam’s jaw in her hands, looking at the bruise on her cheek and the cut above her eyebrow. 

“Your mother and I had to hear about all of this from the reporters outside. You know how embarrassing that is?” her father said. “I’m glad you’re okay,” he added. “Who’s this?” 

“Michael Munroe,” Mike said. “A friend of Sam’s. Nice to meet you, sir.” They shook hands. 

“Come, sit.” Her mom motioned for them to sit on the couch. “What happened? Are you in some sort of trouble?”

“We don’t know. Yet,” Sam said. “They’re still collecting evidence. Obviously, they haven’t found enough to arrest anyone.” 

“I don’t want either of you talking to the press,” Sam’s father said.

“We haven’t.”

“Samantha, please tell me you didn’t do anything that the police can try you for,” Sam’s mother said.

“I didn’t,” she said. At least, she didn’t think so. The memories were already fading. She was blocking it out. 

“What about you?” Sam’s father asked Mike.

“No,” Mike said. Only, you know, almost shot my ex girlfriend in the face. Left one of my best friends to die at the hands of his demon sister. Blew up the lodge of said friend. Just normal teenage stuff, he thought. 

“We’ll need to get you both lawyers,” Sam’s father said. Her mother nodded in agreement. 

“Is everyone okay?” Sam’s mother finally asked. Sam thought she should have led with this question. Neither Sam or Mike wanted to answer her. 

Finally, Sam said, “Josh…” 

Her mother took sharp breath. “That poor family. Been through enough tragedy for five lifetimes.” She put a hand on Sam’s knees, trying to be comforting. Sam just felt uncomfortable. “I’m sorry, Samantha. I know you two were close.” 

“Not close enough,” Sam murmured. Mike looked at her apologetically. 

“Samantha, don’t mumble,” her father said. Sam just stared in the empty fireplace. Mike squeezed her hand and kept her grounded. 

 

Sam  
Panettiere Household  
15:54 

Sam’s parents suggested they not leave until the news trucks left. Her mom was down in her studio working on her newest project and her father was in his office doing some paperwork. 

Sam and Mike were in the living room, sitting at the bench in front of the grand piano. Sam taught, other rather attempted to teach, him a simple song. A song that didn’t require all ten fingers. It was called Chopsticks. He played the easy part while Sam played the second part of the song simultaneously. 

She laughed when Mike accidently messed up or forgot the order in which to hit the keys. They whispered back and forth, touching keys on the piano. Mike kept fucking up and Sam pretended to be mad, but she wasn’t really. She playfully nudged him and he nudged her back. 

Then Mike started playing the Jaws theme song, striking the lowest two keys slow at first and then faster and faster. They both laughed. It was the first time since the lodge that they weren’t thinking about what happen. 

Sam smacked his hand away from the piano playfully. She faintly remembered a song she had written years ago when she was still performing in recitals. She tinkered with the keys until she remembered the melody. She closed her eyes. She had never written any words to it, but she started humming. Mike watched her intently. Her fingers glided along the keys as part of some muscle memory. She had called the song Charlie’s Lullaby. She wrote it after her pet turtle had died. 

She played the last note and then sighed. She felt tears in her eyes and turned away from Mike so he wouldn’t see. 

“That was really pretty. Did you write that?” he asked.

She sniffed and blinked back the moisture in her eyes. “Yeah,” she said. “A long time ago. I haven’t played in years.” 

She wiped her eyes and got up from the bench, leaving Mike sitting alone in front of the piano. 

“Sam…” he started.

She was still facing away from him. Tears were slipping down her cheeks now. “Fuck,” she muttered. The bench screeched against the hardwood floor as Mike stood up.

Sam felt Mike’s arms wrap around her. He rested his chin on the top of her head. “Sammy.” 

“I loved him,” she said. “He was my best friend. He was my best friend and I let him down. And now he’s gone and I can never make it right.”

 

Interlude

Josh had a hard time remembering life before Sam. She was always just kind of there. Doing her homework at the table. Eating an apple on the bench outside. Falling asleep on the couch watching Shark Week. 

She was the kind of girl who always picked dare. She climbed the tallest trees, ran the fastest, and explain to Hannah and Beth what sex was.

Josh had the biggest crush on her when they were little. But Josh also had a crush on the Olsen twins. Neither crush lasted for very long. 

Josh had a few girlfriends through the years, no one serious. Most of his relationships were just sex. Josh was pretty strict about who he let into his life. Sam had one boyfriend in high school. She was strict about who she let in her life too. It was a two-year relationship, and he had broken her heart. 

Sam and Josh were good for each other. Hannah and Beth assumed one day it would happen. Whether for one night or for a lifetime, they would collide. The twins would laugh at how profusely both would deny it. 

Sam and Josh were never in love with each other the way people would assume. They had a fierce loyalty, an unspoken bond between them. They loved each other like the deepest of friends. 

One night, it almost happened. Because they were teenagers. And they were horny and drunk. It was the summer before Sam’s senior year. Hannah was away at tennis camp, and Beth was spending the night with Jess and Em. 

They were watching old viral videos on Youtube like Scarlet Takes a Tumble and Charlie Bit My Finger. They were laughing uncontrollably, and Sam was leaning on Josh’s shoulder. She always did that when she was drunk, but Josh didn’t mind. 

Somehow, it didn’t matter how, their lips collided. Slow and unsure, at first, and then with more passion. The computer slid off the bed as they fell back. Sam was on top of him, with her hands twisted in his hair. Josh’s hands were all over her body. Feeling her waist, fondling her breasts, grabbing her ass. 

Josh tugged Sam’s shirt over her head and threw it behind them. Sam took the signal and took off Josh’s shirt as well. Josh was now on top of her. Sam could feel Josh’s excitement on her hip.

Josh’s lips found her neck. And then her collarbone. And then her stomach. He fumbled blindly with one hand in his desk drawer for a condom. He could feel Sam’s cold hands near his abdomen, trying to undo the buttons of his jeans. 

“Fuck, Sam,” he said. This made her stop. It wasn’t exactly the moan she was expecting, but rather an exclamation. “I don’t have any condoms.” 

“Are you fucking kidding me?” Sam asked, sitting up. She pushed Josh off of her to look for herself. She didn’t see any either. “You suck, Joshua Washington. The one time I actually wanted to fuck you.”

“Shut up, Sam,” he said, playfully. He elbowed her. “You wanted to fuck me plenty of times.”

“I have not!” she protested. “You forget I’ve seen you naked before. I know what you’re working with.”

“That’s not fair and you know it,” Josh laughed. “I was 12. It’s changed a little since then.”

“A little?” Sam teased.

“A lot,” he corrected. He put his arm over his eyes, smiling. “I can’t believe that just happened.”

“Why? Because I’m just sooo disgusting,” Sam joked. 

“No, you’re very fuckable,” he said. “But you’re also like a sister to me and it’s weird as hell.”

They went back to watching Youtube videos like nothing had happened. Neither bothered to put their shirt back on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N:  
> Hey guys! Thanks so much for all the kudos! Any and all feedback is much appreciated and makes me smile :) I'm having so much fun writing this story. I'm Sam/Mike trash and there's just not enough long fics out there about them. Bear with me as I am in college and don't get a lot of time to write during the week. This story is also on FanFiction by the way, if you like that format better. See ya soon!


	7. Chapter 7

Sam   
Panettiere Household  
16:22

“Hello? Sam? It’s Em. Pick up.” Emily’s voice came out of the answering machine.

Sam cleared her throat and picked up the phone. “Em?” 

“I didn’t know who else to call,” Emily said. “Ashley is off fucking Chris somewhere, and Mike almost shot me in the face.” Sam glanced at Mike, now rummaging around in her pantry for something to eat. 

“Do you need something, Emily?” It came out harsher than she meant for it to. 

“Jeez, you don’t have to be bitchy, Sam,” Emily said. “Matt fucking broke up with me. With me! I’m beyond pissed about it. Somehow he found out the Mike and I hooked up.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah like a couple of weeks ago. I mean, Matt was just a rebound anyway. He was a lousy fuck. He called it ‘making love’. Ugh. What a fucking girl. Mike was so much better.” Emily groaned. “Anyway. Do you know where he is?”

“Who?”

“Mike, dummy.”

“Oh.” She glanced at Mike again. He had himself to a bowl of cereal with her almond milk and was now sitting at the kitchen table. “Hold on, Em,” Sam said.

“This is kinda gross,” he whispered to her. “Almonds don’t even have tits. How do they give milk?” Sam rolled her eyes. For the class valedictorian, he sure could be thick sometimes.

“Em’s on the phone,” Sam told him. His smile faded. “She wants to know where you are.” His eyes got dark. He shook his head slightly. Sam pursed her lips and nodded. She put the phone back up to her ear. “Sorry, that was my mom. She won’t leave me alone since I got back.”

Emily groaned. “Tell me about it. My folks want me to come home. Like, excuse me. I’m trying to graduate on time. I’m not going to drop out just cause one of my friends was a dumbass and almost got me killed.” 

Sam winced. 

“Like, maybe you can. But I’m in real college, you know?”

“Always nice talking to you, Emily. Listen, I don’t know where Mike is.” She would’ve felt bad about lying, but after what Emily said about Josh she really couldn’t care less. Mike didn’t want to talk to her anyway. 

“Alright. Well, if you see him give him a nice kick in the balls for me.”

“Will do.”

“I’m having a party tomorrow night. Kind of a “hey I’m not dead” party. My roommates are throwing it for me. You’re welcome to come. Invite Mike, too.”

“Alright, I will.” 

“And Sam?” Emily asked. “Thanks. For all the stuff you did back there at the lodge. You saved all of our asses.”

“Wasn’t all me,” she said simply. It was quiet on both ends of the line. 

“Yeah, well... Hope to see you at the party tomorrow.”

“I’ll be there. Bye, Em.” 

Emily hung up the phone without a goodbye. 

“What did she want?” Mike asked. 

“She invited me to a party,” Sam said. She set down the phone. “You too.” 

He frowned. It was a very Emily-esque thing to do. “Do you want to go?” he asked.

“Not really. But she sounded kind of sad. It’s just her and Matt up there. Ash and Chris are still MIA. I think we should go,” Sam said. 

Mike thought for a moment. “You’re right.” He got up to wash out his cereal bowl. He wasn’t hungry anymore. “Emily never loved me. To be fair, I never loved her either,” he said. Sam did know if he was speaking to her specifically, or if he was just thinking out loud. “Em and I were too similar. That’s why it never worked out between us. We’re both too headstrong. Too defiant.” He laughed. “We cheated on each other constantly. I finally broke up with her after graduation. I think she was ready for something more, but…”

He turned back to Sam. “Jesus Christ.” He sat down at the table again, putting his head in his hands. “I almost shot her. I was out of my fucking mind.” 

“You were stressed out. We all were. None of us knew what was going on,” Sam said. She sat next to Mike. 

“This is all so fucked up,” said Mike.

“I’m sorry,” Sam said. 

“It’s not your fault. It’s not anybody’s fault.”

“Have you heard anything about Jess?” Sam asked. Mike tensed at her name. 

He rubbed his neck, uncomfortable. “Yeah, I got a weird call from her yesterday. She was drugged out of her mind. She kept saying she didn’t remember anything. I think she thinks that I did something to her.”

 

Mike  
Animal Shelter  
17:00

“A bit of a random time to adopt a dog, don’t you think?” Sam asked Mike as they walked in. Sam did volunteer work at this particular shelter on weekends.

“I’ve always kind of wanted one,” he said simply. Sam frowned at him, sensing that he wasn’t telling the whole truth. “If I tell you the truth you’ll think I’m crazy.”

“Mike, you could literally tell me you puke candy and I’d believe you at this point,” Sam said. 

“I don’t, but that’d be great,” he said. Sam smiled a bit. “There was a wolf in the sanatorium and it helped me escape.” He waited for Sam’s reaction.

“Animals have helped people since the dawn of time. Especially dogs. They’re man’s best friend after all.” She led him to the kennels where the dogs were. 

Mike was immediately attracted to the all white German Shepard in the back of the cage sleeping. Sam unlocked the cage, and they walked in. The dog stayed asleep, even as they sat down next to it. 

“This is Wolfgang. Wolfie for short. He’s a retired psychiatric service dog. His owner was a soldier who had severe PTSD. Sadly, his owner passed away a few months ago and the family wasn’t able to find him a new home.” Sam scratched behind his ear. The dog opened one eye, looking at Sam, and then went back to sleep. “He’s been here a lot longer than most the dogs. No one wants an older dog. Everybody wants a puppy.”

Wolfie stretched and turned to lay on his back. Sam rubbed his belly and cooed at him. 

“Hey buddy,” Mike reached his hand out to pet him. He realized it was the hand that was missing fingers, and he quickly retracted it, petting him with the other hand instead. 

Wolfie got up and put his head in Mike’s lap. The dog whined slightly. 

“I think he likes you,” Sam said quietly. Wolfie sat up and licked Mike’s face. Mike smiled. 

 

Mike  
Mike’s Pickup  
17:50

 

Mike drove back to his house while Sam sat in the front seat with Wolfie on her lap. He was heavy, and blocked Sam’s view out of the windshield, but when Mike had put him in the backseat Wolfie whined. 

Sam didn’t mind. Wolfie was soft, and he made her feel safe. 

Night was approaching. Sam didn’t want to go home by herself, but now that her parents were back she had no excuse to stay with Mike. She was terrified of being alone. She knew the moment she was alone she would break down, and she wasn’t ready to face that part of herself. 

Mike distracted her. He had been through the same thing she had, perhaps more. There was an invisible tether that connected them now that was never there before. Neither friend knew how they truly felt about the other. Each knew it was more than friendship, but both were too afraid of what the relationship had become in the two short days they had spent together. 

How could they possible explore their newfound closeness like normal teenagers would? After all they had been through? With everything that had happened on that mountain. 

There wasn’t time with all they had to worry about. They still didn’t know whether the Washingtons were going to press charges. They didn’t know if the police ever found Josh’s body. The flamethrower guy’s body was in the mines, and when the police found that there would be a bunch of new questions. And then there was Jess. 

Mike was exhausted with guilt. He liked this girl. She didn’t ever try to get to know him on a deeper level. She was just a good time. Mike honestly thought it was going to be a fling. A month or two at most. But now, Jess was in the hospital thinking God knows what about him. 

 

Interlude

They took the restraints off of her after the first 24 hours. It was policy, they had said. She wasn’t allowed visitors either. She had no idea where her friends were. 

Once they allowed her parents into her room, Jess had immediately asked for the phone so she could call Mike. They recoiled instantly. You are never to see any of those horrible people again, they had said. 

She didn’t understand. When that thing took her down to the mines he tried to save her. And when she was reunited with Matt later he had helped her escape the monster. She was convinced none of them had anything to do with what happened. But her parents thought she was delusional. They were trying to convince her that her friends had something to do with what happened. 

It took a long time to steal her mother’s phone. She had asked for ice chips and the moment her mother disappeared behind the door she stole the phone from her mother’s purse. The only number she had memorized by heart was Mike’s so she called him. 

She hoped he was okay. The only information she had gotten from the police was that everyone but Josh had made it out alive. She had never been close to Josh, but he was always friendly toward her. From the hushed words Chris and Sam used to exchange sometimes, she knew that he had some problems, especially after his sisters went missing. 

She never even had gotten the chance to properly apologize to him. She was always to afraid that he blamed her. It was her that had suggested playing a joke on Hannah. It wasn’t as cruel at first, but somehow by the time 2 a.m. had rolled around the prank had formed into something else entirely. 

When they told her Josh didn’t make it, she just nodded her head and said okay. She was so numb at that point that she probably would have had the same reaction if anybody else had died. 

The first time Jess looked at herself in the mirror she cried. There was a cut on her lip and another on her forehead. There was a bandage across her nose. They told her it had been broken in two places. Her eyes were dark and bruised. There were two deep cuts on her left cheek from the top of her ear down to her jaw. Those would leave scars, she thought. Under her hospital gown, there were one diagonal cut from her collar bone to her left breast. That one hurt the most. They had to change the dressing often, and it seemed to hurt more and more each time. That one would scar too. 

She was barely recognizable. Without thinking she broke the mirror with her fist. They restrained her again and put her on suicide watch.


	8. Chapter 8

Sam  
Panettiere Household  
19:00

Mike drove Sam home after that. Now that Sam’s parents were back there was no reason for Sam to stay at Mike’s house, much to their dismay. Neither of them wanted to say goodbye. 

Mike walked her up to her door while Wolfie waited in the car. Right when the teenagers got to the door and were going to say goodbye the door swung open. Sam’s mom was in the threshold with a phone in her hand. 

“Come in,” she said. “Both of you. We have some things to talk about.”

They followed her wordlessly. They sat at the kitchen table. Sam’s dad was leaning against the fridge with a look of consternation on his face. “Dad, what’s wrong?” Sam asked.

Her heart was beating faster. 

“The Washingtons called.” Both of the teens stayed silent. “Samantha, they found Josh.”

“What do you mean found him? His body?” she asked. She looked at Mike. 

“He was alive when they found him.” 

“Was?” Mike asked. 

“When the rescue team found him he was alive, but… He wasn’t mentally there anymore. He attacked them. He wouldn’t back down. They had no choice. It was self defense,” Sam’s mother said.

Sam wasn’t processing what they were saying. Mike looked at her. Her face was blank. She couldn’t even cry. She thought he was dead. To have it revealed he was alive and killed by rescuers was a shot in the heart. 

Sam’s mother continued, “The Washington’s aren’t going to press charges on any of you.” 

“We didn’t do anything wrong,” Sam said. 

“I believe you,” her mother said. “But the Washington’s could sue you for arson if they wanted to. But they’re not. Under some conditions.”

“What conditions?” Mike asked. 

“They want all of you to attend therapy. They’ve offered to pay for it.”

“Fuck no,” Sam said. 

“Samantha!” Her father yelled. Her mother looked tired.

“There’s more,” her mother said. “You would never be permitted to speak to the press or any one else about what happened on the mountain. And they do not want any of you at Josh’s funeral.” 

“They don’t want to have contact with any of you ever again,” her father said. 

That was the last straw. Sam couldn’t believe it. These people, the Washingtons, they had been her second family. How could they do this to her? She wasn’t allowed at her best friend’s funeral? Wasn’t allowed? 

Anger rose up from her gut and radiated through her shoulders. Who was the one that never left Josh’s bedside after he tried to kill himself? Who brought him back from the brink of death? Who talked him down when his mania would start to take over? 

They were never fucking there for him. They shuffled him from doctor to doctor. From one medication to the next. They barely knew their son. If they knew how much Josh had bitched about them to Sam…

Bob was too busy with his movies and his awards to care much about his children. After the girls went missing, he was always gone. Always “working”. Josh said he had caught him in several lies and was convinced he started having affair after Hannah and Beth went missing. 

Sam had doubted him and said he was overreacting, but she wouldn’t put it past Bob now. Melinda was always kind to Sam. She loved her kids very much. That much was obvious. After the twins disappeared, she had her own cocktail of drugs that she was taking. 

Neither of them had seen Josh’s cries for help. Neither of them had caught on to the multiple signs that their son was crumbling before their eyes. 

Sam was thinking all of this, but said nothing. 

“Samantha, you have to do it. Mike, you too,” her father said. “They are willing to put this all behind them. They have enough evidence to sue you for arson. That’s a minimum of sixteen months in jail.”

“That’s not how it happened. It was self defense,” Mike said. 

“I don’t want to know, son. I don’t need to know what happened,” her father said. “It’s between you and the Washingtons. There is no option but to do what they say. They aren’t asking a lot.” 

“Like hell they aren’t!” Sam yelled. “Josh was my best friend! They just don’t want the world to know all the fucked up things he d-”

“Sam,” Mike interrupted. “Not a good time.” 

Mike was right. Sam was too angry to see that this deal was protecting Josh. It was protecting the Washington name. If there was a gag order, the public would never know what Josh had done. People would stop talking about it, about them. They would just become another unsolved case. Another mystery never fully solved. 

“They’re also condemning the mountain. No one will ever be allowed up there again. Once the investigation concludes, it will become a reserve for the animals that live there.” 

Sam put her head in her hands. Her parents were so nonchalant about it all. They wouldn’t even let the teens explain their version of the truth. It was too much. It was all too much. 

So she left. 

Sam got up and ran out of the house. 

Mike ran after her. Sam was already climbing into the driver’s seat of his truck. “Sam!” he yelled from the distance. “What are you doing?”

“Going to Josh’s house,” she said calmly as she turned the key in the ignition. 

“What? Sam, you can’t talk to them. They don’t want to see us.” Mike ran up to the truck. Wolfie whined from the front seat. He kept nudging Sam for her to pet him. She wasn’t listening.

“I’m not going to talk to them,” she said. 

“Are you just going to steal my car then?” 

“Apparently I’ve already committed fucking arson. How much worse can it get?” she said. “You can’t stop me. But you can come with me.” 

 

Mike  
Josh’s bedroom  
19:50

She was right. 

It was all gone. 

All Josh’s papers and diagrams and plans that were here just yesterday were gone. Disappeared. Every inch of his room was cleaned. The trash taken out, the bed made. The picture of Sam and Josh that was on his desk was missing as well. 

“They did this,” she said. “They can’t accept it. They can’t accept the role they played in Josh’s downfall.”

“Sam, please-” Mike started. 

“I’m fine,” she snapped at him. 

“No, you’re not,” Mike snapped back. “Just admit it. It’s okay. It’s okay not to be okay.”

“Yeah? What about you Mike? You chopped off your own fucking fingers and you’re acting like nothing’s happened,” Sam said defiantly. “If you’re fine, I am too.” 

Mike was silent, taking in what she said. “You’re right,” he admitted. “I’m not fine. I don’t think I’ll be fine for a really long fucking time. And I don’t think you will be either. I think this is going to be really fucking hard for us to get through. But I think that we still have each other and we’re not going to get anywhere if we don’t talk about it.”

“Talk about what?” she spat at him. Mike had never seen Sam like this. Usually, she was always the one with her head on straight. She had always been happy when he was around. At least she had pretended to be.

“You’re angry at him,” Mike said. “Just say it. You’re angry at him and you feel guilty about it.” 

“He was sick. He didn’t know what he was doing,” she said.

“That doesn’t mean it wasn’t fucked up. That doesn’t mean you don’t have the right to be angry about what happened. Just say it, Sam. I’m angry, too.”

“Alright!” she said, tears slipping down her cheeks. This time she didn’t try to turn away. “I’m fucking mad. I did everything for him. I was always there for him. Why wasn’t I enough, Mike? Why wasn’t I enough?” 

Mike pulled her into a hug, and Sam buried her face into his chest. Mike held on to her as if she was going to sink through the floor and disappear before his eyes. “You’re enough,” Mike whispered. “You are enough. Don’t ever say that.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, guys! Just wanted to say thanks so much for reading. All reviews are much appreciated. I love reading your thoughts. Thanksgiving break is coming up so hopefully I'll be able to knock out a couple more chapters then. Don't forgot to follow my UD tumblr .com AND listen to my Mike/Sam playlist on 8tracks /mallory99888/s-u-r-v-i-v-a-l . :) Thanks so much again. I'm having so much fun writing this story.


	9. Chapter 9

Mike  
Mike’s Bedroom  
20:24

Mike brought Sam back to his house after her breakdown in Josh’s bedroom. Sam didn’t protest. She just rested her head against the window while he drove and closed her eyes. 

He helped her out of the truck and they walked into the house, Sam leaning on Mike the entire way. His shirt was stained with her tears. It killed him to see her so out of it, a shell of the Sam that he knew before that night. He helped her into his bed and covered her with a blanket. 

Wolfie jumped on the bed and made himself comfortable on the foot of the bed. His head was resting on Sam’s ankle. 

Absentmindedly, Mike kissed Sam’s forehead softly. It felt almost like a reflex. Neither acknowledged the kiss. 

“Are you going to be okay?” Mike asked quietly.

Sam was quiet for a moment. “Eventually.” 

“I’ve got to take care of something. I’ll be right back.” Sam nodded slightly. Mike scratched Wolfie’s head. “Stay here with Sam until I get back okay, buddy?” 

He walked out of his room and into the bathroom. There he started changing the dressing on the injury on his fingers. He threw away the old bandage and put on a fresh one. He still wasn’t used to it. This was something he would carry with him for the rest of his life. 

People would give him the side eye and, if they were brave enough, ask about his hand. What would he say? He couldn’t very well tell the truth. 

He felt his heartbeat quicken just thinking about it. He shook his head, perhaps trying to rid himself of the thoughts. He changed his shirt and splashed face with water.

He also made the mistake of looking in the mirror. 

He needed a shave, badly. His facial hair made him look older, made his cheekbones stand out like shards of glass. His eyes were sunken. Girls used to tell him that his brown eyes were were his second best feature. But now they were lifeless. He didn’t know how it was possible, but he looked like he had lost ten pounds. He was trying to remember the last time he, or Sam for that matter, had a proper meal. 

He had a bite of cereal earlier at her house. She didn’t eat anything. He bought donuts that morning for them to eat. They had tasted like dust in his mouth. He tried to remember if Sam had finished hers, but to no avail. At dinner the night before, Sam had opted for a bowl of fruit since his mom didn’t have any other vegan friendly meals. He had taken a few bites of dinner, but stop because he felt like he was going to throw up.

Shit, he thought. 

They needed to start taking better care of themselves. 

His eye was almost healed entirely. The swelling had gone down. There was only a brush of purple under his eye. His busted lip had scabbed over. He bit his lip and didn’t realize it until he had already drawn blood. He grabbed a tissue and put it to his lips to stop the bleeding. 

He didn’t want to think it, but he knew what they must have looked like zombies to other people. No wonder the press was so interested in what happen to them. What could possibly do this to two teenagers over the course of one night? 

He blinked back the tears that he didn’t realize had come to the surface. He hadn’t cried since his father’s funeral. That was over a year ago. Damn, had it really been that long? he thought.

He collected himself and returned to the bedroom.

Sam’s eyes were closed, but Mike could tell she’s not asleep by her uneven breaths. He lied down on his back, very aware of the space the separated him and Sam. The thought didn’t last long as Sam flipped around and curled her body around his. She rested her head on his chest.

She smelled of honey. It was intoxicating.

In any other situation, this would not be normal. Friends didn’t act the way they were acting. But after everything that had happen, this was the most normal thing that they had, and they held onto it for dear life. 

 

Sam  
Mike’s Bedroom  
22:56

Sam woke up.

Her body was curled around Mike’s. His back was to her. It took a moment for her to remember where she was. She wondered why sleep refused to take her. All she wanted was a dreamless, deep sleep. 

Her arm was wrapped around him. His body was hot, almost feverish. His night shirt was soaked with sweat. Sam sat up and looked around. Mike was shaking in his sleep. 

“Mike?” she whispered. He seemed to be straining, fighting with himself in sleep. “Mike, wake up,” she said. She shook him weakly at first and then more roughly. He was mumbling in his sleep, but Sam couldn’t make out the words. 

His whole body was shaking. Wolfie started to bark. “Mike, Mike!” she said, desperate now. She took his face in her hands. His eyes popped open, with a sheer look of terror, screaming. 

He scrambled up and kicked the covers off of him. “Mike, Mike, it’s okay. You’re with me. It’s okay,” Sam cooed, wiping the sweat of his brow.

Mike was breathing heavy. “Nightmare” was all he said. She put her hand to his forehead. 

“You’re hot,” she said. 

Mike smiled weakly. He leaned back on the headboard. “Yeah, I am.” 

She hit him playfully on the shoulder. “Be serious.” He smiled again and closed his eyes. 

“I feel like shit,” he said. Sam ran her fingers through his hair absentmindedly. 

“You should take a cold shower,” she said. She realized she was running a hand through his hair and jerked away from him. “You’ll feel better.”

“Yeah. You’re right,” he said. A few seconds passed and he didn’t get up. 

“Mike?” she asked.

“Yeah?”

“You’re not moving,” she said. She got out of the bed to help Mike up. “Come on. It’ll help, I promise.” She put her arm around his waist and slung his arm around her neck. He leaned on her and they stumbled to the bathroom in the dark. 

She flipped on the bathroom light. While still holding onto Mike, she turned on the shower. Mike’s eyes were still closed. Sam had never seen him so out of it. Sam helped him into the shower. He sat down, letting the droplets trickle down his face. His clothes were still on, though he was burning up. He didn’t have the energy to take them off. 

“Do I need to take you to the hospital?” Sam asked. Mike opened his eyes. A droplet of water clung to his eyelashes. 

“No, I’m fine. Just give me a second.” His heart was still pounding. His dream. It had seemed so real. He felt like he was floating between his house and the sanatorium. 

Sam stood there watching him. She watched his chest rise and fall as he caught his breath. “Do you want me to leave?” she asked. 

“No.” Mike was surprised by his words. Girls didn’t ever see Mike Munroe like this. No one did. 

But this was different. They were different. She was different.

“I had a nightmare I was in the sanatorium,” he said, running a hand through his wet hair. Sam was sitting on the floor outside the shower. She didn’t say anything. “I was running away from them,” he continued, looking at her with his dark eyes. “God, there were so fucking many. It never ended.” He paused again and swallowed. He felt himself tearing up, and he hoped Sam couldn’t tell. “Always running. Never quite reaching the exit. Always shooting them. They killed you. They killed all of you.” He swallowed, the lump in his throat going bigger. He sighed. 

Sam felt the weight of his words on her shoulders. She didn’t know what to say. Nothing could make this better. Nothing would ever make this okay. 

Mike turned off the shower. 

“You need to change the bandage on your hand. It will give you blisters to leave on one that is wet,” she said. Before he could gather the strength to get up and reach into the medicine cabinet for them, she was already doing it. 

She helped Mike out of the shower. She unwrapped his hand slowly. His heartbeat quickened. “You don’t have to do this. I can do it,” he said. She ignored him. 

He was afraid of her reaction. It wasn’t a pretty picture. It was a complete hack job. He couldn’t even look at it for very long. 

But she stayed calm, not showing any kind of reaction. She wiped the wound carefully and bandaged it without a word.

Mike looked at Sam just then. He didn’t know if it was the delirium of fever or something else. But he saw Sam. Truly saw her for the first time.

With her golden hair and green eyes, Sam used to radiate sunshine. It was gone now. He hoped this wouldn’t last. If anyone deserved the sun it was her.

It was replaced with a much quieter resilience, a determination to make it through this, one way or another. He couldn’t quite put his finger on what had changed, but it had. Maybe it was him.

The bruise on her cheek was all but gone. Her hair was pulled into a bun on the top of her head. There were light freckles on her nose he never knew were there. Sam was thinner than he remembered, but still athletic. Even in her pajamas, she looked ready to run a marathon at any time. Ready to run for her life. Ready to fight for it too. 

She looked up at him and smiled faintly. “Done.” 

“Thanks.” 

They stared at each other for a moment too long.


	10. Chapter 10

Mike   
Emily’s Apartment   
22:15

The next night they went to Emily’s party at her apartment. Mike was dreading seeing Emily. She had to absolutely hate his guts now. He wouldn’t have come if it weren’t for Sam. Sam said she had to go with or without him. Sam’s loyalty to her friends was unwavering. It amazed him. Here she was, not completely okay herself, yet she was willing to drive a couple hours out to go visit a friend who, let’s be honest, she was never that close with, and make sure said friend was okay. 

She was a better person than he could ever hope to be, always putting others’ needs before her own. He could tell she was tired and just wanted to stay at home, but she insisted on coming to the party. 

They knocked on the door to Emily’s apartment at exactly 10:15. One of her roommates answered the door. 

“You must be Mike,” she said, looking him up and down hungrily. “Em’s told me a lot about you.” She was not even trying to hide the fact that she was staring at his crotch when she said that. Normally, Mike would eat this kind of stuff up. It fed his casual narcissism.

She was pretty enough. The roommate. She had blonde hair and light eyes. A sort of too big nose that didn’t necessarily take away from her attractiveness. But Mike wasn’t in the mood today.

“And you are?” he said, not holding back the iciness in his voice. Sam shot him a look that said “Play nice. We’re here for Em.” Mike didn’t know when he started being able to read Sam from one look, but he could.

In a deeper part of his mind, he thought it was when they exchanged a wordless look in the cabin, when Sam immediately knew his plan to blow up the cabin and said “Do it” with a small nod of the head. 

He pushed those thoughts away. He needed to stop thinking about that night. 

“Oh yeah!” the roommate said. “I’m Amber. Come on in.”

They walked in. “I’m Sam by the way.” The roommate seemed to not hear her. “Where’s Emily?” she said, louder now demanding respect. 

The roommate looked back at her. “In her room. Getting ready.” 

“I’m going to go check on her,” she told Mike. “Are you okay out here?” 

“Yeah,” he said. “Go ahead.” 

 

Sam   
Emily’s Apartment  
22:20

Sam knocked on her door. “Hey, Em. It’s Sam open up.” The door unlocked and swung open. Sam didn’t quite know what she was expecting. 

Emily looked pretty much the same. A bandage was peaking out from under her shirt covering the bite she received while escaping the Wendigo. Emily had puffy bags under her eyes that she had tried to cover up as best she could with makeup. Sam could still tell. They were most likely from crying, though Emily would never admit it. 

“Come on in.” They didn’t hug. Emily went back to her makeup table, putting on a dark shade of lipstick. Sam sat on the edge of her bed. 

“How’re you doing?” Sam asked cautiously. 

Emily scoffed. “That’s the best you got? ‘How are you?’ I don’t know, Sam. My boyfriend broke up with me. One of my friends from high school fucking died after trying to plan an insane prank. I got fucking bitten by a Wendigo,” –she hissed the last word- “and now all my college friends think I’m on the cusp of losing my fucking mind.” 

“I’m sorry, Em,” she said. “I know it’s hard. We all went through some fucked up shit.” 

Em laughed. “Yeah, we did. Have you been watching the news?”

“Not since I’ve been in the hospital,” Sam said truthfully.

“It’s effing insane. They’ve been outside my apartment almost every day trying to get an interview. I saw you and Mike on the TV though,” Emily said, fixing her lipstick in the mirror.

“Oh?”

“Yeah,” she laughed. “Flipping them off? Was that Mike’s idea? God damn brilliant. I wish I’d done it.” She stood up and put her hands on her hips. “How do I look?” 

“Great,” Sam said. 

“Ugh. Did you see that picture the press used of me? From the stupid photo shoot I did? My hair’s a fucking mess in that. Ugh, at least I had makeup on though.” 

Sam wasn’t wearing makeup in her press photo. She would never quite get used to Emily’s little jabs like that. 

“Did Mike make it?” she asked. 

“Yeah, he’s outside. Listen, Em-”

“That smug little fucker is going to get a piece of my mind,” Emily said. 

“Don’t be too hard on him. He’s been though a lot,” Sam said.

“And I haven’t?” Em scoffed. 

“I’m just saying it’s not going to help either of you,” Sam said.

“Oh, so I just forgive him, then? I think you’re forgetting who’s the pushover here,” she said. “Don’t make excuses for him. He almost killed me!”

“It’s got nothing to do with you!” she shouted, surprised at her own voice. That made Emily recoil slightly. “Listen,” Sam said. “We’ve all been through some shit and we can’t take it out on each other. It’s not going to make anything better.”

“Fine, I’ll be nice,” she said, like it was her idea in the first place. 

 

Mike  
Emily’s apartment  
22:26

Usually, Mike was the life of the party, the center of attention. If he wasn’t playing beer pong, he was dancing. If he wasn’t dancing, he was scamming on some hottie trying to get in her pants. 

But now Mike just sat on the couch with a beer in his hand, trying to ignore all the stares. His heart dropped when he saw Emily and Sam come out of the bedroom together. 

Sure, maybe he had never loved Emily. But he certainly did care about her. They were friends before they dated. After going through the obligatory awkward phase after they broke up, they were kinda friends again. This was mostly due to Josh’s parties and movie nights and whatever else the fucker would dream up and drag all his friends into. 

Mike didn’t want Emily to hate him. He had to try to apologize, even if she didn’t accept it. He would never forgive himself if he didn’t at least try.  
Sam and Emily headed straight to the kitchen. Emily grabbed a cup of whatever alcoholic punch her roommates had concocted. Sam just drank water. She didn’t drink. 

At the parties that Josh used to throw, especially the ones after his sisters disappeared, she would always be the designated driver. She would always be the one to take care of Josh when he had a bit too much, which was arguably, every time. 

She would hold Ashley’s hair back when she was puking or protect Emily from the creepy guys that tried to hit on her when she was plastered. Sam was always doing just that. Protecting. But all the while, who was protecting her? He thought. Who was there to hold her hair back or be a shoulder for her to cry on?

After grabbing drinks, Emily made a beeline to him. “Hey, Em,” he said.

“Don’t “Hey, Em” me,” she said. “That nickname is reserved for people who don’t try to shoot me in the face.”

“Look, I’m sorry,” Mike started, but of course Emily didn’t let him finish. 

“Your “sorry” doesn’t do shit. I’m never going to forgive you, Michael. I want you to know that,” she said. 

“Then why’d you invite me?” he asked, calling her bluff. 

“Just because I don’t forgive you doesn’t mean I can’t fuck you,” she said, sitting down next to him on the couch. “Come on. We both know it was mostly hate sex with us anyway. Now I have a real reason to hate you,” she said. Her hand was on his thigh now, slowly snaking it’s way up to his zipper. 

“Em,” he said, trying to move away from her. 

“Don’t call me that,” she snapped.

“Emily,” he corrected himself. “I’m not going to fuck you. Nor do I want to fuck you.” That last part was a little harsh in retrospect, but Emily was never one for subtly either. “You’re just doing this to get back at Matt.”

He expected her to be angry with him, but she just laughed. It was the most chilling thing he’d heard since that night. It was a cold and sharp laugh. 

“Mike, Mike, Mike,” she tsked him. “I don’t care about Matt. He’s a pussy. I just dated him to make you jealous.”

“Harsh, Em,” he said. “The kid really liked you. Anybody could see that.” 

“Yeah, well he broke up with me,” she said, seeming to give up. She removed her hand from his thigh and sat next to him on the couch. Mike didn’t know hat to say to that. “Let’s do shots!” she said, pulling him up. 

She pulled him to the kitchen where the alcohol was. Mike looked around to find Sam. She was talking to some guy next to the TV. Her eyes met Mike’s and she smiled. Her eyes traveled down to where Em was pulling Mike by the hand. Her smile faded and she returned to her conversation.

Was it jealously? 

Em handed him a shot- of what, he didn’t know –but he down it as so as it was in his hands. “Easy,” Emily said. “You’re supposed to wait until I pour mine so we can drink together. So she pours him another, and then one for her. 

He tilts his glass at Emily and downs another. He didn’t come here to get fucked up, but if that’s what it took to get some piece of mind he would do it. He’d done it before; he could do it again. 

They took a couple more shots and then started to play beer pong together. Sam had disappeared. The guy she was talking to was gone as well. Good for her, he thought, a bit more bitter than he’d expected. She deserved to have a good time in whatever way she chose. It was none of his business anyway. 

He continued to drink with Emily until he couldn’t see straight anymore. Emily had said that she texted Ash and Chris and invited them, but she never heard back. He thought it was kind of rude to go MIA after barely escaping a night of sheer terror with your friends. But if it was what they needed to do to get through this, he couldn’t judge them for it. 

He thought about the things he’d done to ease the pain. Sleeping with Sam. Not sleeping sleeping with her. But just sharing the same bed as her, which suddenly felt more intimate than sex ever had. 

The party was winding down and people started leaving. He still didn’t see Sam around. Emily was grinding with some guy to the rap music blaring throughout the apartment. Mike just sat on the couch with a drink. Em’s roommate, he’d already forgotton her name, sat next to him and kept trying to start of conversation with him. He gave her one word answers, hoping she’d get the message. 

She wasn’t happy. Emily wasn’t. That much was obvious, but he couldn’t help her. He could barely help himself. He wished Matt hadn’t broken up with her. That way she would still have someone to talk to. He and Sam could only do so much from back home. 

“Last chance, Mike,” Em said from the dance floor. The guy she was dancing with was all over her. Mike shook his head. Em wasn’t that into this guy. She’d rather have Mike. This should’ve been an ego boost for him, but he felt no satisfaction. 

“Have fun, Em,” he said, tilting his cup in her direction. 

“I trust you can see yourselves out. Sam went outside, I think,” Emily said. And with that she disappeared into her bedroom. 

He got up slowly and walked outside. Sam was sitting on the balcony alone. 

“Hey,” he said. She was startled by his voice, jumping at the sound. 

“Hey,” she said distantly.

“Everything okay?” he asked, sitting down next to her. 

She smiled weakly. “Define okay.” 

“I saw you talking to a guy in there. You seemed to be hitting it off. Did you-” Mike didn’t quite know what he was trying to ask her or if he even wanted to know the answer. 

“Oh, him.” She acted disinterested. “We climb at the same gym sometimes. He wanted to say he was ‘so sorry’ for whatever happen and if I ‘ever needed anything’ to give him a call.” She rolled her eyes. “I’m sick of people looking at me like I’m some kind of zombie. Like they’re amazed I’m still living. I don’t need him. I don’t need anyone.” 

“Do you need me?” Mike asked. This is not something he would’ve said if he was sober. 

She looked him in the eye. The look in her eyes intimidated him slightly. She was wild, but broken. And he couldn’t fix her. He couldn’t even fix himself. “Don’t make me answer that,” she said, her voice cracking slightly. 

He wrapped his arm around her and pulled her close. Her head fit perfectly in the crook of his shoulder. Her lips brushed his neck lightly as she pulled her body closer to his. Intentional or not, it gave him chills.


	11. Chapter 11

Sam  
Mike’s truck  
4:37

Sam drove them home after that. 

Home. 

It was an interesting word. Home to her had never felt like her parent’s house. That was just somewhere that she lived on and off. She started paying her parents rent when she was 16. The relationship with her parents was always more of a business arrangement. Home had always been with the twins and Josh at their house. But that home was gone now. It had been taken away. 

For the past few days home had been with Mike. It scared her. 

She looked over at the passenger seat. Mike was slumped in his seat with his head resting against the window; he had fallen asleep halfway back to his house. He was snoring lightly. Sam smiled. She was glad to see him at peace, if only for a short while. 

She parked the car and turned it off. “Hey, Mike,” she whispered. She put her hand on his leg and lightly shook him. “We’re home.”

There was that word again. Home. 

Sam helped Mike out of the car and up the stairs. He tried not too lean all his weight on her. He was sobering up, but he was so exhausted. Sam held him up, even though he was taller and weigh more than she did. 

She helped him into the bed. Wolfie, who had been sleeping on Mike’s bed, got down and wagged his tail at Sam, begging for attention. 

She bent down and pet him. Then, she crawled into bed next to Mike without a word. He put his arms around her. 

Once they got comfortable, Mike’s phone started to ring. 

“Hello?” he asked. 

“Michael?” 

He immediately sat up. “Jess?” Sam glanced at him and sat up too.

“Hi, Michael,” Jess breathed. She sounded better. Healthier. More aware of her surroundings. “How are you?” 

“I’m…” He looked over at Sam. “Okay. I’m doing okay. How are you?”

“Better,” she said. “They moved me to a local hospital. So I’m back home.” She breathed heavily. “As close to home as I can be.” 

“Does that mean I can come visit you?” he asked. She stayed silent. 

“Mike, I-” Jess started, upset. “I don’t want you to come.” 

“Jess, what do you mean? I did everything I-” Mike said. “None of us hurt you.”

“I know,” she said. “Matt visited me today. He explained a lot of things for me. I-” Her voice faltered. “I’ve been really confused. About everything that happened. And my parents tried to convince me that it was your fault. And I couldn’t keep it straight. What was real and what wasn’t. But I’m working on it. I know you did everything you could to save me. And I’m so thankful. You are a good guy, Michael Munroe. Deep down.” 

“Jess, what are you saying?” he asked, afraid of the answer. 

“I need some time. To think,” she said. “I need to stay away from everybody for a while.” She paused. “And I don’t want you to try to contact me.” 

“Jess…”

“It was never going to work out between us, Michael. We both knew that. And now, life’s too short.” 

“Jess, are you-” 

“Yes, I am,” she interrupted him. “I’m sorry. I have to do this on my own.” 

Click. 

Mike set down his phone. “Mike?” Sam asked. “Was that Jess? Mike?” Mike laid back down, facing away from Sam. “Mike? What happened?”

“She broke up with me. But she’s doing okay. I don’t want to talk about it. Goodnight.” 

Sam paused. “Goodnight, Michael.”

Mike   
Dr. Hill’s office  
11:55

Their first therapy session was today. Mike was still hungover from Emily’s party. He and Sam had barely exchanged words when they woke up. By the time he woke up she had already gone for a run, taken the dog out, and showered. 

He barely had time to shower before their appointment. 

Now they were in the waiting room. Everybody was scheduled to come in today. Everyone except Jess, who was still in the hospital. 

Matt was already there when Sam and Mike arrived. Sam said hello politely and sat down. Matt and Mike locked eyes for a second; Mike nodded to him curtly. It wasn’t an apology. 

Matt nodded back and then looked away. 

Despite plenty of seating. Mike leaned against a wall near the exit. Quick getaway, he thought.

Em arrived next. She looked pissed off and tired. She flipped off both Mike and Matt, then sat next to Sam. Sam tried to smile at her, but it appeared more as a grimace. Emily whispered something to Sam that made her smile. She looked up at Mike. He stared at the ground. 

Emily was loudly describing last night’s conquest to Sam. He glanced at Matt, who was clenching his fist, and then at Sam who had a blank look in her eyes. 

Chris and Ash were five minutes late, according to Mike’s watch. They walked in holding hands. Chris was leaning most of his weight one crutches while Ash helped him limp along. 

“Hey, guys,” Chris said loudly. Then he picked up on the awkwardness in the room. Ash helped him sit down and then took a seat next to him. The black eye from when Josh punch her was nearly healed. Mike couldn’t tell if the puffiness around the area was from the swelling or from crying. 

“I know,” Chris started. “I know this sucks, you guys. But…” He seemed to lose sight of what he was saying. He shook his head. “But we have to do it. We have to.” 

Ashley was openly crying already. The rest of the friends were just staring at the ground. 

Dr. Hill’s door open and he step into the room. “Hello, I’m Dr. Alan Hill. Please, all of you, come in.” At first, no one moved.

Sam was the first to stand. Of course she was, he thought. And once she stood, Mike marched to her side. They walked in first, and the others followed suit. 

 

Sam  
Dr. Hill’s office  
12:07

She hated him already. 

“I just wanted to introduce myself to you all first. I’m very sorry we are all meeting under these circumstance,” Dr. Hill said. “First and foremost, the Washingtons wanted to let you know that they are very concerned with your wellbeing.”

Emily sat in a chair adjacent to Dr. Hill. Sam was on the couch with Mike and Matt on either side of her. Ashley and Chris were sitting in two fold out chairs next to Emily. 

“I apologize for the seating. I’ve never had so many patients at once,” Dr. Hill chuckled. 

Sam rolled her eyes. Mike was jiggling his leg up in down. Nervousness? She thought. He was shaking the entire couch. Sam set her hand on his leg and he stopped fidgeting. The other friends noticed this new intimacy between Sam and Mike but said nothing. 

Sam and Mike glanced at each other and then looked away. She took her hand off of his thigh. 

“The first session is more of a get-to-know-you. After today, you will be coming to individual sessions,” Dr. Hill said. “I want you to know this is a safe space. I am legally not allowed to tell anyone what we talk about unless you are a threat to yourself or others.”

“You were Josh’s doctor. Don’t you already know everything you need to about us?” Sam asked. 

“Samantha, my sessions with Josh were largely revolved around his sisters and his own demons. He wasn’t always forthcoming about his true feelings especially toward his friends,” Dr. Hill said. “That being said, I cannot disclose anything Josh and I talked about. So please, don’t ask.” 

“Why should we trust you? You couldn’t help Josh. What makes you think you can help us?” Matt asked. That was the most confrontational Sam had seen Matt. 

“Josh had deep underlying issues and mental health concerns. These therapy sessions are only meant to help you though a traumatic experience and return to normal life as soon as possible.” 

“Forcing us into therapy isn’t exactly what I would call returning to normal life,” Emily said. 

“The Washingtons are just trying to help,” Chris said.

“We’re not allowed at Josh’s funeral and they’re ‘just trying to help’? Get your head out of your ass, Chris. They hate us,” Emily snapped. 

“I would too,” Sam said quietly. “If I was them.” 

“Let’s just get this over with guys,” Matt said. “Bickering won’t solve anything.” Dr. Hill jotted something down in his notebook. 

“Let’s just start with what happened,” Dr. Hill said. “In your own words.” None of the teens spoke. “Someone has to have something to say, no?” 

“Fine, if none of you are going to talk, I will,” Chris said, looking at the others in disappointment. “Josh invited us to the lodge a few months back. I don’t think we really thought it was a good idea, but Josh seemed kind of excited about it. We had all kind of drifted apart since Hannah and Beth went missing. Some of us went to college an hour away. We all had jobs. I think we were trying to move on. Josh wanted to bring us back together.”

“I didn’t want to go in the first place,” Emily said. “I knew it was weird as fuck to want to go back to the place your sisters died exactly a year before. I wasn’t going to go, but Matt made me.” Emily shot a look of daggers at him.

“I don’t think any of us were comfortable with going, but Josh is our friend and we needed to be there for him,” Matt piped up. “Anyway, when we all got there, Em and Jess started fighting before the power was even turned on. So Josh suggested Mike and Jessica go to the other cabin on the lodge grounds.”

Matt looked at Mike like he wanted Mike to continue the story from his perspective. Mike didn’t offer up any information. 

“And what happened at the cabin, Michael?” Dr. Hill offered. Mike sighed. 

“Jess got pulled through a window and dragged away by something. I didn’t know what at the time. But I chased after her. Then she fell down an elevator shaft. I was convinced she was dead. I thought I saw the guy that had hurt her so I followed him to the sanatorium.” Mike paused. If he kept talking he wouldn’t have been able to control his emotions. He bit down hard on his tongue and focused on the physical pain instead of the internal aching that he felt rising from his gut.

“Back at the lodge,” Sam piped in, giving Mike a look. He was relieved she started speaking so he didn’t have to continue. “Josh and I tried to get the power on while Chris and Ash looked for an Ouija board. It was Josh’s idea. I didn’t want to participate so I went to take a bath.” 

“It was all part of Josh’s plan though,” Ash spoke up for the first time. “The Ouija board… All of it. He made me and Chris think that we were talking to Hannah’s ghost. He made up this elaborate story that some mental patient had killed them and we after us too.” She sniffled, trying to hold it together, but failing. Chris squeezed her hand.

“And then Josh, dressed up as a psycho killer, captured Ashley. He made me choose between saving him or Ash. And I-I chose Ash.” Guilt dripped from his voice. Of course he would be guilty. Josh was his best friend since grade school. “So we thought there was some psycho on the mountain. Ash and I went to go find Sam. And Emily and Matt went to go get help.”

“We went to the cable car,” Emily said. All the friends were surprised she spoke up after being so against therapy in the first place. “But the psycho, Josh, I mean, had taken the keys and trashed the entire place. So we went up to the radio tower to get help.”

“While we were up there, the tower fell down into the mines and we got separated,” Matt added. 

“Don’t forget to add in the part where you fucking left me to die. I was hanging off the goddamned tower, and you let me fall,” Emily said sharply, folding her arms. 

“I tried, Em. I tried,” Matt pleaded. “But the tower was falling and there was no sense in us both dying.” 

“You’re not the only one who almost killed me that night,” Emily said, looking at Mike. Mike lowered his head, staring at the ground. Discreetly, Sam laced her fingers in his to give him some sort of comfort. Sam glances at Mike, but he won’t meet her eyes. He continues to stare down, but he doesn’t let go of her hand. The other friends did not notice the gesture. 

“I was still in the bath all this time,” Sam said. She shook her head slightly in guilt. “I could’ve been helping everybody, but I didn’t know anything was wrong. When I got out, my clothes were gone. I thought it was a joke at first. Josh chased me down, and he sedated me. I passed out and woke up tied to a chair. Mike found me after that.” 

“We, uh, found Chris and Ash tied up,” Mike started, slowly. He kept his voice even, in control. “That’s when we found out it was all Josh. He was off his medication. He wasn’t making any sense. I thought he was the one who took Jess. So Chris and I, we tied him up.” 

“We had to,” Chris insisted. “He was a danger to himself. We were going to make sure he couldn’t do anything drastic until we called the police in the morning.”

“Emily came back to the lodge after that. She was really shaken up,” Sam said. 

“Of course, I was. I had just escaped the Wendigo,” Emily said. Dr. Hill had been writing in his notebook feverishly up until this point. He looked up from his notes.

“Wendigo? What is that?” 

“They are monsters that live on the mountain,” Ash said. “They used to be human. No one believes us, so the fact you don’t either isn’t new to any of us.”

“I never said I didn’t believe you,” Dr. Hill said. “Please, continue. Emily, how did you get back to the lodge?” 

“I was chased by those damn Wendigo. And I met this crazy guy in the mines. He gave me some flares. I don’t know really. It was all a blur. I don’t remember exactly what happen. I got bitten by one of them,” she said. “When I got back the crazy guy came to the lodge and told us about the Wendigo.” 

“The flamethrower guy and I went back for Josh. But he was gone when we got there. The Wendigo attacked us, but I got away,” Chris said. “We all went to the basement to try to figure everything out.” 

“Then Mike tried to shoot me because I was bitten and he thought I was going to turn into one of those things,” Emily said matter-of-factly. Dr. Hill’s eyebrows rose. 

“Michael? Is this true?” the doctor asked. 

“I didn’t shoot her.”

“But you were going to,” Emily said raising her voice. 

“How many times can I apologize, Emily?” he asked. 

“Not enough,” Em said.

That’s when Sam realized that nothing would ever be the same. They, as a group of friends, would probably never make it past this. They barely made it past Hannah and Beth’s disappearance. This was the final nail in the coffin. 

“I went back for Josh after that. He had the key to the cable car. Sam and I ended up finding him in the mines. But Josh… He didn’t make it. One of the Wendigo dragged him away.” Mike and Sam shared a look. The Wendigo that got to him was Hannah, but now was not the time to tell the others. 

“We got back to the lodge and it was infested with Wendigo,” Sam said. “Our only choice was to blow up the lodge. So we did. The helicopter picked us up after that.” 

“Matthew, you said you got separated from Emily. What happened to you after that?” 

“I wandered around the mines for a while, and then I ran into Jess. The Wendigo found us so we hid until it was gone. We found our way outside and the helicopter saw us.” 

“And that’s the story,” Ashley said. “Do you think we’re crazy yet?” 

“No, Ashley. I don’t,” Dr. Hill said. “I think you all went through a very traumatic experience, and I’m here to help each of you through that, in whatever way I can. I’m afraid we are out of time for today’s session. I will see you all next week for your individual sessions.”

So all the friends went got in their cars, and went their separate ways. And Sam felt an intense sadness she couldn’t describe because these people used to be her best friends and she could feel them slowly pulling away from each other.


	12. Chapter 12

Mike  
Mike’s bedroom  
23:49  
“Is it wrong that I’m relieved that she broke up with me?” Mike asked Sam that night. 

Sam was putting away a few items she and Mike had picked up from her house. Neither spoke much about it, but they didn’t want to be apart from each other. Sam was going to stay with Mike for just a little while longer. She was being selfish, she knew, but she couldn’t face the night alone just yet. 

“It sounds awful, I know. But I can’t help but feel a little bit of relief that she broke up with me so I didn’t have to do it,” Mike said. “I don’t think I could. With her in that condition.”

“No, it’s not wrong. It just means it was a clean break. It’s better that way.” She paused. “If it’s mutual, I mean,” she added.

He thought about this for a moment. “You’re right,” he sat back in his bed. It was silent for a moment. Sam joined Mike on the bed. “Do you have a boyfriend?” he asked, cautiously. It was weird. They had the same group of friends. They hung out in a group setting often, but Mike genuinely didn’t know much about her personal life. 

The awkwardness hung in the air. “No, I don’t. Not since high school,” Sam said. “I mean, I’ve been on dates since then,” she added quickly, as to not sound lame. “But there was no one I really liked, I guess.”

“Hannah always thought you would end up with Josh,” he said. “She really wanted to you to be a Washington. Officially.” 

Sam smiled, the memory of when Josh and her made out came to her mind. She hadn’t thought about that in awhile. She and Josh had never told anybody it happened. 

“What are you thinking about?” Mike asked her. 

She laughed slightly. “Nothing.” 

“You’re smiling,” he pointed out. “You’re thinking about something. Wait, did you and Josh ever-”

She laughed again, before Mike could finish his sentence. “No. We got pretty close one time in high school. But it didn’t happen. We were both drunk. Josh will kiss anyone when he’s drunk.” 

“That’s true. Remember when he kissed Emily?” Mike asked. Now they were both laughing. “The night of our graduation. He was so wasted he just grabbed her and kissed her.” 

Sam’s smile widened. “I do! You two were still dating then, right?” He nodded, amused. “She was pretty drunk, too. She genuinely thought she was kissing you for the first few seconds.” 

“I mean, she seemed to be enjoying herself,” he chuckled. “Until she realized it was him.” 

They spent the next few hours, until they were too tired to speak, exchanging lighthearted memories of Josh. It felt good to finally have something to smile about. Both friends had an infinite amount of good stories about him. It was the first time Sam and Mike didn’t feel an immense sadness about their friend.

Sure, it was there in the background. It always would be. But, for now, it was the happy memories that mattered. Because that’s really what Josh had always been about. An eternal search for happiness. He had brought it to each of their lives, but struggled to keep it for himself. 

 

Mike  
Mike’s Bedroom  
3:31

Mike woke up in a sweat, breathing heavily. 

Sam was sleeping beside him peacefully. Her lips were parted slightly, and she was breathing evenly. He was glad he hadn’t accidently woken her up. 

He had been dreaming again. 

They were in the lodge this time. Just him and Sam. Everyone else was dead. Killed by the Wendigo. They were standing perfectly still. But then Sam moved. She shifted her weight to her back heel and the floorboard creaked underneath her. The Wendigo opened its mouth and screamed at her. 

But instead of creeping toward Sam, it turned its attention to Mike. It skulked toward him, mouth agape. He was expecting an otherworldly screech, but instead he heard Hannah’s small, innocent voice. 

“Mike,” she whimpered. “Mike, why did you kill me? I did nothing but love you. It was just a schoolgirl crush.”

“Han,” he fumbled. “Han, it wasn’t like that. It was just supposed to be a joke.” The Wendigo transformed into Hannah. 

“You killed us all. Me and Beth. And then you left Josh to die,” Hannah said. “How can you live with yourself, Michael?” She fell to her knees started to weep. Sam ran over to comfort her. 

Mike backed up a step. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

“Shut up, Mike!” Sam yelled. Hannah was still crying on the floor. Mike backed up further. He bumped into something behind him. It was Josh, but his face was gnarled. Half of his teeth were in the shape of fangs and protruded out of his mouth. He had claws for fingernails. Mike shouted in surprise. 

“Why did you leave me, Mike?” he asked. “I was sick. I needed help. And you left me.” 

“Josh, man,” Mike started. “I’m sorry.” He looked over at Hannah and Sam. They were whispering to each other. They both looked at him in distain. 

“She hates you,” Josh growled, his sharp teeth inches from Mike’s neck. “Can you blame her?” 

Mike shook his head. “No, you’re wrong.” 

“It’s your subconscious, bro. Not mine,” Josh said. They watched Sam and Hannah again. They didn’t seem to notice the two boys watching them. Sam gave Hannah a hug. “She’s amazing, isn’t she?” Josh asked. “Sam, I mean.”

Mike nodded. 

“I love her,” Josh said. “So much. She deserves the world. I couldn’t give it to her. I don’t think you can either. Don’t be selfish, Mike. I was selfish. Look how I ended up.” 

That’s when he woke up.

He cuddled closer to Sam and put his arm around her. He moved her blonde hair off of her neck and brushed his lips on her skin. Not quite a kiss. Sam stirred in her sleep and hummed slightly. She pressed her body closer to him. He felt her shoulder blades shifting against his chest. 

She flipped around so now they were face to face. Her eyes were still closed. “Mike,” she murmured, so quite he thought he might be imagining it. Her hands were balled up into fists against his chest. 

Mike watched her for a while, too afraid too close his eyes and try to sleep again. But, eventually, his eyes grew heavy and sleep took him again. This time it was a deep and dreamless sleep. 

 

Sam  
Community College  
10:14

They decided to go back to school the next day. They had missed a week of classes, but they could still catch up. All of Sam’s professors were kind about the whole thing. They were allowing her to make up whatever work she had missed. The worst part of going back was all the stares. 

Her and Mike’s faces had been plastered on the news nonstop, so whatever students didn’t know them before certainly knew who they were now. Mike and Sam ignored the staring as much as they could. 

There was a small group of protestors on campus. Some were college students but others looked older. They were holding signs that said “JUSTICE 4 JOSHUA” and “TELL US WHAT REALLY HAPPENED”. 

They yelled at Mike and Sam as they passed by. “Just ignore them,” Mike said. But they were loud. It was hard to ignore the things they were saying. 

“Where’s Josh?” one of them yelled. The others joined in. 

Sam took Mike’s hand in hers. Both their heartbeats quickened. “Did they even know him?” Mike asked. 

“I honestly don’t know,” Sam answered. They kept walking. Sam didn’t realize how hard she was squeezing Mike’s hand. 

“You won’t get away with murder!” someone else said.

That’s when it happened. 

The walls started to close in on Sam. Walls? What walls? They were outside. She started to get tunnel vision. She felt as if the breath had been kicked out of her and she desperately tried to breath air back in her lungs. But they weren’t working. Her lungs. She started to hyperventilate and fell to her knees. 

Mike tried to catch her as she fell, but she just took him down with her. “Sam!” Mike yelled. But he sounded far away. All Sam could hear was screaming. Her own? Yes, it was her. Mixed with the screeching of the wendigo. Mixed with Mike’s frantic shouts to bring her back to the surface, out of the depths of a feeling she didn’t have a name for. 

Mike grabbed her arm to steady her. The tips of his fingers felt life fire on her skin. 

“Don’t touch me!” she screamed, pushing him away. He let go and lifted his hands above his head, to show her he wasn’t touching her. 

It was as if someone had punched straight through her chest, ribs and all, and grabbed her heart and was squeezing. Her entire body was shaking uncontrollably, like someone had thrown her into the washing machine and turned it on ‘HIGH’. 

“Sam, Sam,” Mike said, trying to sound calmer than he felt. “Remember where you are. You’re with me. You’re safe.” She took fistfuls of Mike’s shirt in her hands, grabbing for something, anything, to keep her from falling off the earth. The look in her eyes was of pure terror. 

“Sam. Sam. You have to calm down. Listen to me,” Mike said. “You’re here.” He pulled her hand and flattened it against his chest so she could feel his heartbeat thumping. “Everything’s okay. Remember where you are. You’re with me. It’s okay,” his voice got quieter with every sentence, making her focus on his words. “Breathe with me.” 

She tried to nod. He put his hand over hers. “Focus on my breathing. Match it.” His chest rose and fell in time. He exaggerated the movement so Sam could feel it beneath her fingers. “That’s it,” he said. Slowly, her breathing returned to normal. Oxygen returned to her lungs. 

He helped her up, and they walked back to Mike’s car together, Sam leaning most of her weight on him. People were staring, but neither noticed. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry,” Sam repeated over and over into his shirt. “I thought I could do it. I thought I was ready. I’m so sorry.”

“There’s nothing to apologize for, Sammy,” he said. “Don’t apologize, please.” 

He almost said, you’re breaking my heart. Because she was. Seeing her this torn up was the worse thing he could imagine. Worse than his own nightmares. Because this was real. He couldn’t just wake her up from this. This was her reality.


	13. Chapter 13

Sam  
Gym   
14:39

The next week went by quietly. Mike and Sam fell into a routine. They lived their lives separately, but together all the same. Mike drove them to school everyday. Mike returned to his job as a waiter at local restaurant, and Sam started working part time at her gym. They learned how to spend more time apart, but they still fell together at night. They were always on the verge of something. On the verge of a kiss. On the verge of telling each other just how much they needed each other. But they never quite got there. 

Sam kept in touch with Emily as best she could. They would text on and off through the week. She seemed to be doing okay. She was still sleeping with the guy she met at her party, though she didn’t care much for him. 

Sam tried to stay in touch with Ash, but she wouldn’t answer her calls. Same with Chris. They seemed to disappear off the face of the earth. One day she received a single text from Ash telling Sam they were okay. Sam took it as a sign to stop trying to contact Ashley and Chris because they obviously didn’t want to talk about it. 

Matt invited her to go work out with him. She happily agreed. They didn’t have a lot in common, but they both loved a good workout. 

She and Matt met at the gym she worked at. 

“Hey,” he greeted her. Sam hugged him. They had always been more acquaintances than anything, but given the circumstances Sam thought it was appropriate. He returned it halfheartedly. “How are you?” 

“I’m okay,” she said. Was that the truth? She thought it was. “Mike and I went back to school last week. It was tough at first but…it’s manageable now.” 

“You and Mike seem to be spending a lot more time together,” Matt said as they walked to the machines. Sam felt her cheeks get hot. He laid down on a bench-press and Sam spot him. 

“I don’t really know what you mean by that,” she said. 

He chuckled. “I didn’t mean anything by it, Sam. You just talk about him so casually. I didn’t know you were that close.” He did a few reps on the bench-press. 

“We weren’t,” she said. 

“I’m glad you’re doing okay,” he said, dropping the subject. “How’s Em?” 

Sam shrugged. “You know Em. She’s not very forthcoming with how she actually feels. She seems to be doing okay.” She decided it was best not to tell him about Em’s new boy toy. 

Matt nodded. “Damn,” he said. “She could be a total bitch, but I miss her like crazy.” 

“Did you love her?” Sam asked.

“Yeah,” he said, sitting up. “Yeah, I did. But she didn’t feel the same way.” 

“I’m sorry.”

“I’ll get over it,” he said simply. 

“You deserve someone who treats you better,” Sam said. They switched spots, and she started lifting weights. 

“Have you heard from Ashley or Chris?” 

“Not really,” she said. “I don’t know what they’re up to. And Jess hasn’t tried to contact either of us since she got out of the hospital.”

“Us?” he asked.

“Mike and I,” she sighed. There was no point in trying to hide it from him. He was going to tell anyone. “She called basically to tell him not to call, but other than that…nothing,” she said. “Have you heard from her?” 

“She calls me sometimes. Mostly she talks and I just listen. I think that’s what she needs. Someone to listen to her. She talks about him a lot.”

“Who?”

“Mike,” he said. “I think she’s just really lost right now.” He sighed. “Her scars are something else. The We-“ He stopped himself. “They really tore her apart.” 

Sam finished her last rep, suddenly feeling weak. She sat up and caught her breath. Sweat was beading at the edge of her hairline. Matt helped her return the weights. They decided to do crunches on the ground, while passing a weight between them. 

“So you’ve visited her?” she asked. She saw Jess briefly before the police took them in for individual interviews. She had a heavy plaid blanket draped over her shoulders and no pants on. Mike had offered her his jacket to tie around her waist so she could keep her decency, but she had refused him. She was really out of it then. 

“A couple times. Her parents still don’t want her to have anything to do with us. But I see her when I can.” 

“I’m glad someone can be there for her.” They passed the weight between them wordlessly for a few repetitions. Sam’s abs started to hurt, but she pushed herself further. 

“So,” Matt finally said between crunches. “Do you want to talk about it?” 

“Talk about what?” Sam asked, trying to keep her breathing steadily. 

“You and Mike,” he said. When she didn’t offer up any information, he continued. “You came to Dr. Hill’s office together. And you were holding hands during the session.” 

“You saw that, huh?” Sam said, sitting up. 

“If you don’t want to talk it’s fine. It’s awkward, I get it. We don’t really know each other like that, but… I don’t know. If you need to talk I’m here.”

“You sound like Dr. Hill,” Sam pointed out. 

“Well,” he said, imitating the doctor’s breathy voice, “Samantha, we don’t have all day.” She chuckled slightly, but it was true. She had her first individual session with Dr. Hill yesterday, and she didn’t say a word the entire time. 

“How long do you think we have to go to those things?” she asked. 

“Until he signs off saying we’re better I guess.” Matt looked at her. Sam seemed to be fighting with whether or not to tell Matt. She opened her mouth like she was going to speak and then closed it again. 

“If I tell you, you have to promise not to tell anyone. Especially Jess or Emily. I don’t want them to be mad at me.”

Matt nodded. “Whatever it is you can tell me.” 

“I don’t know. It’s weird. It’s like, Mike knows me better than anyone these days. Something’s changed. And I’m kind of scared where it’s going. Nothing’s happened. But if it does, I don’t know. I don’t know if I could control myself. I don’t want Em or Jess to hate me. I don’t know how to stop it. It feels so right when we’re together. Natural. I know I’m being selfish, but I don’t know. I think maybe he feels it too.”

“I think I know the feeling,” he said. 

“Not a lot things make me happy these days, and I don’t know, he does. Make me happy, I mean.”

“There’s nothing wrong. In him making you happy.”

“I feel so guilty,” she said. “He doesn’t belong to me.”

“He doesn’t belong to anyone, Sam,” Matt said. “I mean, I get what you’re trying to say. But, if he wants to spend his time with you, and you want to spend your time with him then what’s the problem?” 

“It feels like were in some weird sort of limbo. These past few weeks don’t even seem real yet,” Sam said. Matt nodded. 

“You don’t have to define it, you know. Whatever the relationship is. You don’t have to feel like you have to explain yourself to anybody. It’s between you and him.” 

“Damn,” she said. “I can see why Jess likes talking to you.” He laughed. “You have a face that you can tell anything to.”


	14. Chapter 14

Mike  
17:37  
Bathroom

Mike was sitting crisscross on the floor of the bathroom. Sam was directly behind him with a pair of scissors in her hand. Somehow, she had convinced Mike to let her give him a haircut. His hair was getting a bit unruly, and was starting to tickle his neck. 

“Exactly how many times have you done this?” he asked, a bit nervous. 

“I cut the dogs’ hair at the shelter all the time,” she said simply.

“Well that’s reassuring,” he said, smiling. 

She laughed. “I also cut Beth’s hair. Remember senior year she was tired of having exactly the same hairstyle as Hannah so she cut it to her shoulders and got bangs? That was my handiwork,” she added. “I cut Josh’s hair too. A couple of times.” 

“What can’t you do?” he asked. She laughed a bit, more empty this time. 

“A lot of things,” she said, putting her hands on his shoulders. “Now sit still.” She ran her fingers through his hair, checking the length. 

Mike was fresh out the shower, his hair still wet. He had changed into pajama pants, but left his shirt off. There were faint scratches still on his arms from the night on Blackwood. They would fade in time. Sam counted two on his shoulder blade and five on his right arm before she realized she was staring. He smelled like lemongrass and rain. 

She started to cut a bit off the top. “Sam?” he asked. 

“What? I’ll make it look good. You’ve got to trust me,” she said, working around his ears. He had a freckle on the top of his ear that she had never noticed before.

“Oh, no. It’s not that.” He found himself closing his eyes as Sam ran her fingers through his hair. He made a point to keep them open and focus on literally anything else. It was difficult to do. Everything that she did was extremely distracting even though she wasn’t even trying. 

 

“What is it then?” she asked, concentrating hard on her work.

“It was my birthday today,” he said, staring straight ahead, trying to keep still for Sam. “I forgot until now.” He laughed sardonically. “Who forgets their own birthday?”

She stopped cutting. “Oh,” she said simply. 

Usually Sam was very good with birthdays, with holidays in general really. She loved celebrating them, picking out gifts and planning surprise parties. But with everything going on, it was no wonder she forgot. 

“How old are you?” she asked. 

“Twenty.” He certainly didn’t feel that old. He still felt like the same insecure seventeen-year-old compensating with overconfidence and a nice smile. “It’s weird,” he said. 

“What’s weird?”

“We’re going to grow old someday. But Hannah and Beth, they’re always going to be eighteen. Josh is always going to be twenty,” he said. “It’s just… not fair.”

Sam pursed her lips. “Nothing’s fair.” She continued, brushing loose hair off his neck. “Mike, I need to tell you something.”

“Okay.”

“It’s really fucked up though.”

“Then you’ve come to the right person,” he said dryly. She bit her lip.

“Do you remember when Josh took all those pills?” she asked. “He was in the hospital for at least a week.”

Mike remembered. All too well. Chris drove down from college immediately when Sam called him to tell him what Josh tried to do. She called him next. They all stayed with him. They took shifts, shuffling in and out of his hospital room, leaving only for class or work. But at least one person stayed with Josh at all times. 

“Yeah, I remember.” 

“After that something changed with Josh and I. I think I realized I couldn’t save him. It wasn’t up to me, I guess. He had to want to be saved. He had to start to save himself.” Sam sighed. “I wanted so badly to save him. But it was killing me too. To see him killing himself.” She paused. “What’s fucked up was that I told him that he shouldn’t call me anymore.” 

“Sam…” he started.

“I’m not done,” she whispered tiredly. “What I’m trying to say, is that that’s when he started going up to the lodge on the weekends. I thought he was just snowboarding or whatever. Getting back to nature. He had always loved going to the lodge when we were younger. And he started appearing happier. But…looking back on it, that’s when he started planning the prank, wasn’t it? I mean, that’s the only thing that makes sense. That means everything that happened was partly my fault. If I hadn’t told him I needed a break…” 

“Sam, that is not your fault. No one could have known he would do what he did.” 

“But it is, Mike,” Sam said. “How could it not my fault?”

“So what if it is? What does that change? Absolutely nothing,” Mike said. “You’re were an amazing friend to Josh. He admired you so much. He never shut the fuck up about you. He obviously loved you. And you did everything you could for him. But you can only take so much. You can only do so much. You’re not a doctor. You’re not a psychologist. You’re not his parents. You did not fail him. They did. If you need to blame someone, blame them.” 

“I feel so guilty.” 

“We all do. None of us saw this coming,” he said. “It’s no more your fault than it is mine. Or Chris’s. Or Matt’s. Or Ash, Jess, or Em’s.” She didn’t answer him right away. 

“Does it ever go away? Guilt?” she asked finally. 

“I hope so,” he said.

She finished cutting his hair in silence. 

“Alright, it’s done,” she said. 

“Thanks,” he said, spinning around to face Sam. “How does it look? Be honest.” 

He looked good. He was Mike Munroe after all. But these days he didn’t look the same kind of good as he did before. Before he looked like the guy you’d want to take home to your parents. Now he reminded her of those underfed, tired models that designers hire to walk the runway and look completely depressed while doing it. He was attractive, even in misery. 

“You look…good,” she said. They just stared at each other for a moment. Sam tucked a piece of her blonde hair behind her ear. “I’ve been thinking,” she said.

“Yeah?”

“About something Josh said to me. On the mountain. When he stole my clothes, I went to look for everyone in the media room. He played me a video of me in the bathtub and he asked me if that was going to be the last happy moment of my life.” She paused, thinking back to that night. She felt so violated that he would’ve filmed her naked. 

Mike listened quietly, watching her bite her lip. “And I know,” she started. “It was for the prank and I wasn’t in any real danger then, but…” Tears were welling up in her eyes. “I’m scared that he was right. What if I’m never happy again?” 

Mike didn’t say anything because there was nothing to say. He pulled her into an embrace, wordlessly. And that’s how they stayed for a considerable amount of time. Mike’s fingers were laced in her blonde hair. Sam’s squeezed her eyes closed, a few tears slipping onto Mike’s bare shoulder. Sam put her hand on his neck and the other around his torso. 

She could feel Mike’s every movement, every breath. She put the pads of her fingers in the divots between his ribs and focused on his breathing and matched it with her own. Because that was the one thing she could count on. 

She rested her forehead on his shoulder.

“I want to be happy again, Mike,” she whispered in his skin. 

It was quiet a moment. “Me too, Sammy.” 

Mike  
Bedroom  
3:43

He couldn’t sleep again. That was nothing new. Sam was asleep beside him, mouth slightly open. There was no need to wake her. Her phone started buzzing beside her, and he grabbed it so the noise wouldn’t wake her. 

Emily was calling. 

At three in the morning. 

“Emily?” he answered in a hushed tone. Sam stirred in her sleep, but didn’t wake. 

“Mike?” she asked sounded confused. “Why are you answering Sam’s phone? Is she with you?” 

“She’s sleeping. Why are you calling?” 

“Damn, Mike,” she responded. “That was fast. Even for you. Not really Sam’s style though.”

“What? I’m not fucking sleeping with her.” Well, technically he was sleeping with her, just not in the way Emily was insinuating. “You really think I’m the scum of the earth don’t you?” 

“Your words. Not mine,” she said.

“Why are you calling? Certainly, not to just to insult me,” Mike said.

“Jesus, Mike. I didn’t even say anything. Always so fucking insecure,” she said. “I wanted to talk to Sam. I couldn’t sleep.” 

“Me either.” 

“Ah,” she said. “So we do have something in common.”

“I guess so,” Mike replied. 

“So do you have nightmares too?” she asked cautiously.

He thought about lying to her at first. That’s what Mike Munroe would’ve done. “Yeah. Yeah, I do,” he said. “What are yours about?”

“What the fuck do you think they’re about, Michael? Stupid fucking question,” she said. But, after this she softened a bit. “I’m always reliving it. It doesn’t ever end. I think I’ve blocked it out. I don’t remember escaping the mines. I don’t remember being bitten.”

“I never would’ve shot you,” Mike said. “I never could’ve done it.” 

“I know,” she breathed. “Take care of Sam, okay? She won’t tell me what’s going on, but I know she’s hurting.”

“I’ll try.” 

“She deserves better than you, you know. But you’re all she’s got right now. Make it count.” 

Click.


	15. Chapter 15

Mike   
Dr. Hill’s office  
10:35

“How has the past week been for you, Michael?” Dr. Hill asked, looking over the notes he made at Mike’s last session. 

Mike rubbed his neck. “It’s been alright.” He didn’t have much more to offer than that. What did Dr. Hill expect? Mike was alive still. That was a start.

“Has sleeping been easier since I wrote you a prescription?” the doctor asked next. 

He had given Mike a low grade prescription to help him sleep better. Mike got them filled, but they were still sitting in his nightstand, untouched. He hadn’t told Sam about the pills. He didn’t know why. “Yeah. It’s been better,” he lied. 

He trusted Dr. Hill. To an extent. He didn’t want to talk about his sleep cycle to the doctor. Sam might come up during the conversation. He still held her close, like a secret. Mike didn’t want the doctor to know how Sam had basically moved in with him. Though, Sam may or may not have told him already now that he thought about it. Sam and Mike didn’t talk about their therapy sessions. It was an unspoken rule between them. 

“Have you talked to any of your friends?” Dr. Hill asked. 

“Besides Sam? No, not really. Em called. But she wanted to talk to Sam.” 

“Have things with Emily settled down? Now that you’re both a couple weeks removed from the situation?” Dr. Hill asked. 

The situation. ‘Fuck you’ was all Mike could think. 

“Is that what were calling it now?” Mike asked sarcastically.

Dr. Hill wrote something down. “Is there another way you would prefer me to reference it?” 

Mike shook his head. “No. Guess not.”

The doctor sat back in his chair. Frustrated? Mike thought. “What would you like to talk about then? If you don’t want to talk about your friends we don’t have to. What do you want to talk about?” 

Mike didn’t answer. 

“How about guilt?” the doctor asked. Mike stared at his shoes, biting at his lip. “We talked about guilt the last time you were here.”

“Guilt doesn’t just go away, Doc. It’s still alive and kicking,” he said. 

“You feel responsible for what happened on the mountain?” 

“Some of it. I mean, how the fuck was I supposed to know there were fucking monsters on that mountain? But if Jess and I hadn’t disappeared off to the lodge, she wouldn’t have gotten dragged away by that…thing. If I had been at the lodge I could’ve stop Josh from trying to pull that stupid prank.” He paused. “I could’ve save him.”

“You don’t know that. All actions have consequences, Michael. There’s no way to know what would’ve happened if you stayed at the lodge. Maybe you would’ve stopped it all. But maybe it would’ve been worse for everyone if you were there.” 

“Guess I’ll never know,” he said. It was silent for a couple of moments. Dr. Hill looked at Mike, trying to read him. Mike felt like an ant under a magnifying glass in the sun. “I feel like I’m watching myself die,” he finally said.

“What do you mean by that?”

“I mean, look at me, Doc. I’m not exactly the prettiest picture to look at. I weighed myself the other day. And I’ve lost ten pounds in the past month. People at school are afraid of me. They couldn’t stop staring at me at first. But now I’m just a ghost. My own mother barely looks me in the eye anymore. Not that I blame her, but…”

“Perhaps they just don’t know what to say.”

“Well I don’t know what to say either,” Mike said irritated. “No one sees me the same.”

“No one?”

“Even Sam. She looks at me different too.” 

“A bad different?” 

“I’m not sure,” Mike said. “I mean, she didn’t really like me before so I guess anything is better than that.” 

“Interesting,” the doctor said, noting that in on his paper. “What about your other friends?” 

“They don’t talk to me. Chris and Ash have basically fallen off the face of the earth. Em talks to Sam and so does Matt. But neither of them talk to me. But I don’t blame them.” 

“What about Jessica? You were dating before. Certainly those feelings don’t just go away?” 

“I told you, Doc. She broke up with me and peace’d the fuck out. You see her every week for her own sessions. Surely you know more than we do.” 

“I can’t discuss the things I talk about with other client. But yes, I suppose I do know more than you,” Dr. Hill stated. It almost felt like he was rubbing it in Mike’s face that Jess would talk to him and not Mike. “Let’s talk about Sam then. You’ve mentioned her a couple of times today. You said she sees you differently. Do you see her differently, too?”

Mike didn’t really have to think about it. “Yeah,” he said. “Yeah of course I do. You don’t go through something like that with someone and not see them in a different way.”

“You went through what happened on the mountain with everybody. Not just Sam,” the doctor offered. 

“Technically yeah, I guess. But it was Sam who found me in the sanitarium. She who clocked that Wendigo in the face with a shovel and saved me. It was she and I that were down in the mines together. She and I that saw the flamethrower guy’s body hanging by a hook. She and I that went after Josh. She and I that found Hannah’s diary and Beth’s grave. She and I that blew up the lodge. Sam who saved my life for the second time when she distracted the Wendigo that was coming toward me.” 

“I see what you are saying,” Dr. Hill said. “You feel you and Sam went through the ringer together. Most of your trauma was spent together.”

“Yeah,” he agreed quietly. 

“Do you talk about the things you saw together?” 

He thought about his nights with Sam. They did talk about it. But sometimes they just talked about their lives. About their families, about memories, about the future. And sometimes they didn’t talk at all. “Yeah,” he said. “Sometimes.” 

“It’s very common for trauma victims to become closer after a tragedy. Often they either become closer or distance themselves completely from anyone or anything who reminds them of the situation. I’m glad you are able to talk about it with each other. The feelings are going to come out one way or another. And if you keep them bottled up you will implode,” the doctor said. 

“I can tell she’s keeping things from me though,” he said, more to himself than Dr. Hill. “She’s a very private person.”

“That she is,” he agreed. 

Mike narrowed his eyes at the doctor. “She doesn’t talk in her sessions, does she? You can’t get her to talk to you.” The doctor opened his mouth to say something. “Yeah, yeah. You can’t discuss anything I get it.” Mike let out a breath. “Can’t say I’m surprised.” 

“She’s keeping things from you?” the doctor prompted.

He laughed. “Well, yeah. I don’t blame her or anything. We weren’t exactly close before.” He paused. “I wish she’d trust me though. I want her to trust me.” 

“She must trust you on some level. To talk about what happened on the mountain with you. Don’t you think?” 

“Yeah. Yeah, she trusts me with some things.” He thought back to the day that Sam and he tried to return to school. She had her first panic attack that day. She would have them occasionally. Mike helped her the best he could, but there wasn’t much to do but ride it out. 

“Well, if she’s holding something back, maybe it’s because she senses you doing the same thing? Do you trust her?”

He thought about this a moment. “Yeah, I do. It fucking scares sometimes how much I….” He trails off, regretting what he said, or was going to say.

“What scares you, Michael?” 

He sighed. “I don’t know. Fuck. Everything, I guess. Everything about her is different than anything I’ve ever…” He trailed off again, not knowing where his sentence was going. 

The doctor chuckled softly. “Michael, are you trying to say that you have feelings for her? I think that’s what you’re trying to say, but you’re going a very backwards way of saying it. Tell me if I’m wrong.” 

Mike pursed his lips. Was that what he was saying? “I don’t know,” he said finally. 

“Have you talked to her about it?” the doctor asked next. 

“Of course not,” Mike said. “It’s too fucked up.” 

The doctor wrote something down. “Could she feel the same way about you?”

Mike hadn’t thought about this. “She’d be insane to.” 

“Why’s that?”

“A million reasons,” he said. “I’m not a good person. And she knows it. I’m responsible for three of her friends’ deaths.” Mike sighed. “She’s got enough to worry about without me unloading all my bullshit on her.” He paused, collecting his thoughts. “It’s just… not a good idea I guess.” 

“If she didn’t want your bullshit, as you call it. Don’t you think she’d make it clear? Emily and Jessica have made it clear they do not want to talk to you right now. Don’t you think Sam would be the same?”

“Well, first of all, thanks for rubbing that one in my face. My exes hate me, I get it.”

“I didn’t say that.” 

“Whatever, anyway,” Mike said. “Sam’s not like that. Sam. She takes care of things, of people. It’s second nature to her. She was there for Josh more than anyone else out of our group. Her phone’s always on in case Em or Matt tries to call her. She’s there for everyone even if she doesn’t want to be.”

“And you’re afraid you’re just one of the things she thinks she has to take care of?” 

“Well, yeah.” He sat back in his chair. “Of course I do. She’s hard to read. With Em and Jess it was different. Em told me how she felt. Mostly it was just anger. And I could read Jessica like a book. Girl wore her fucking heart on her sleeve. But anyway, it’s not that I really cared how they were feeling.” God, he sounded like a complete dick. “But Sam’s got too many walls up to count. I can’t tell what she’s thinking. Like ever.” 

“Have you ever asked her?” Dr. Hill asked. “She’s seems like a no nonsense kind of girl from what I’ve heard. If you really want to know why not ask?”

“I don’t want to ruin what we have.” 

“And what is it you have, Michael?”

Mike thought about that one for a while. He didn’t have much. But he had Sam’s friendship. Even if it was just friendship. “I have her,” he said. “I don’t want to lose her friendship.” He paused and thought about the past few weeks. “Things are easier with her around. I don’t want to give her a reason to leave.” He cleared his throat. “It’s selfish, I know.” 

“Maybe,” he replied. “Maybe not. But I think, Michael, it will be better for both of you if you define the relationship, even if it’s just friendship. Fine. But you sound confused about how you feel. And if you’re feeling that way, she might too. You owe it to yourself, and to her, to define the relationship.”


	16. Chapter 16

Sam  
6:32  
Playground

A funeral had been held for Josh. One that the friends had been explicitly told not to come to. It had been just family. The college held a candlelight vigil for Josh. Sam and Mike were not invited to that either. Almost a thousand students were in attendance. Reporters had shown up and snippets of the vigil had been televised. 

Josh would’ve eaten this shit up, she thought. He would’ve said that none of these assholes even knew him or gave him the time of day when he was alive. He would’ve laughed in their faces at how dramatic the whole thing was. 

That was the last time the whole ordeal was brought up on the news. It was finally done. With the funeral done, and the investigation over, the news had nothing more to report. It was slowly being forgotten. 

It seemed everybody else had a proper mourning for Josh, except for Mike and Sam. She didn’t know where to go at first. There wasn’t a grave to go to. His bedroom had been cleared out.

So she went to where they met. The playground of their elementary school. 

And she took Mike. Because she needed him, even if she wouldn’t say it. She felt it. She hoped he did too.

It was 6 a.m. on a Sunday. No one would be there but them. 

They took Wolfie too. Mostly because he whined at them when they tried to leave without him. Sam let him off the lease when they arrived. He was happily trotting around in the cold air, sniffing everything in sight. 

“We met here,” she said, grabbing onto the monkey bars. She was too tall for them, and could hold onto them without her feet leaving the ground. She went through the motions anyway. She then lifted her legs up and hooked them around the bars, now hanging upside down and facing Michael. She tried to keep her shirt from riding up with her free hand. “Josh was hanging upside down like this.”

Mike watched her intently, with an arm hanging onto a bar himself, making circles in the dirt beneath them with his shoe. He definitely wasn’t flexible enough to do what Sam was doing. So he stayed upright. 

“I told him he was in my way and he was hogging the monkey bars. So being the little shithead I was at 6 years old, I went anyway with him still hanging upside down.” The blood was rushing to Sam’s head, and her face was starting to get hot. “But,” she started, grabbing the bar and swinging her legs free. She maneuvered until she was now sitting on top of the bars, looking down at Mike. “I tried climbing the on top of the bars. Josh started screaming like a drama queen. And we were yelling back and forth as I tried to make my way across the bars. He tried to grab my arm, and I lost my balance, falling through one of the holes.” 

Sam slipped between the bars and landed right in front of Mike. “And we both broke our arms,” she finished. They stared at each other for a few seconds too long before Sam turned around and climbed up to the slide. Mike followed right behind her. She sat on the wooden platform that led to the slide. He sat next to her. 

“It was funny now that I look back on it. But back then, it wasn’t funny at all. I hated his guts. All the teachers gathered around us asking what happened and we just blamed each other,” she said. “I think we hated each other for the rest of the year. But I became friends with the twins that year and realized my nemesis was their brother. So I kind of had to get along with him.” Sam smiled. “I definitely didn’t plan for him to be my best friend. Butterfly effect, I guess.” 

She turned her attention to all the writing etched into the wood panels, crossing her legs. She ran her fingers over them. “C+J 4ever.” She smirked. “Do you think any of these people are still together?”

“Probably not,” he replied, pointing to the mark that said “Mike + Emily” with a heart around it. “They’re definitely not.”

She giggled. “When did you do that?”

“9th or 10th grade, I think.” He takes out his keys and scratches out the names. “We should write something.” Sam looked at Mike with a wiry smile. 

“That’s vandalism,” she pointed out. 

“Arsonists, trespassers. Let’s add vandalism to the list,” Mike shrugged. 

“You’re a bad influence on me Michael Munroe,” she tsked. He chuckled. “What would we write?” she asked. 

“I dunno. Mike and Sam were here?” he suggested. She held her hand out for him to give her his keys. He did and she started etching something into the wood. 

Mike + Sam are still here, she wrote.

He liked that. There was a certain finality to it. They were still here. They were still here after Josh was gone. Hannah and Beth. The rest of the friends that survived had moved on from this town. But Mike and Sam were still here. 

She handed him back his keys. “There.” He slipped his keys back into his pocket. Sam put her head in the crook of Mike’s shoulder. They looked at all the different carvings on the wood, all the different loves lost in time. 

“I need to leave this place,” she said. 

“Oh,” Mike said. “Well, we can leave if you want.” He started to move.

“No,” she laughed, putting a hand on Mike’s thigh to keep him from getting up. “That’s not what I meant. I mean this town.”

“Oh.”

“There’s nothing that ties me here anymore,” she tried to explain. She had stayed in this town for Josh. She put her life on hold for him and he was gone now. 

What she said gnawed at him slightly. Was he not a reason to stay? But he shook the thought out of his head quickly. Of course he wasn’t. Sam deserved to move on. To forget all this shit and make a new life for herself somewhere else. If that meant forgetting him to, then so be it.

“I want you to be happy,” he said. And it was true. “Do what you need to do.” The last part came out a bit more bitter than he meant for it to. 

“Mike…” she said quietly. 

“It’s okay,” he said. “You don’t owe me anything. If you want to go, then go.” Fuck, this was coming out all wrong, he thought. “What I mean is, I never wanted you to stay with me because you have to.” 

“That’s not why I stayed with you,” she said, tilting her head to look up at him. “Come with me,” she said. This is a question. Her voice was a sweet melancholy Mike would never get used to. Her green eyes lock on his through thick eyelashes. He swallows hard. 

“Where?” he breathed. Their faces were inches from one another. Sam felt the heat of the word on her forehead. Mike leans down, glancing at her lips. Her bottom lip is plump and red, quivering slightly. His thumb grazed her chin. Her jaw tilted up slightly.

“Anywhere,” she exhaled against his mouth, with heavy lidded eyes. Just like that their lips were touching. Sam relaxed her shoulders as Mike’s hand settled on her back and pulled her closer. She rested a hand against his chest while the other wreathed up the back of his neck and into his hairline. 

She was unfolding in his kiss, softening. She opened her mouth slightly and she could feel his smirk. His lips were soft and he tasted of mint. He smelled like winter—pine cones and wood. 

Her thoughts were whirring, not quite believing this was really happening. This was real. He was real. And then suddenly, it was too real.

She pulled away, resting her forehead against his. Her eyes were still half closed, not looking up at Mike. 

“I’m sorry. I—” she stuttered. But she didn’t know where she was going with her sentence. She started to stand up, but Mike grabbed her wrist.

“What? Hey, don’t go. I don’t understand. Did I do something wrong?” he asked. She looked at his fingers, hooked around her wrist. He let go. 

“No. No, you didn’t do anything wrong. I’m sorry. I just—I have to go. Okay?” Sam said. They both stood up. 

“Okay, here let me drive you. Where—“ 

“No,” she said. “I’m just—I’m going to walk. I’ll call you later.”

“Sammy,” he said. But it was too late. 

She was already gone.


	17. Chapter 17

Interlude

Emily never got nervous. One had to care to be nervous. That said, she was nervous to see Jess. She hadn’t seen her since their fight at the cabin. It seemed so stupid and petty now. 

She had skipped one of her classes and drove two hours to meet Jess at her house. When Jess answered the door, Emily’s breath hitched in her throat. She tried to pass it off as a cough.

Jess looked awful. The cuts on her face were in the process of scarring over. They were thick and puckered. Her eyes were still sullen, even though it’d been two months since that night. She’d only been released from the hospital two weeks ago. Emily tried not to stare. 

“Hey, Emily. I’m glad you came,” Jess greeted her, smiling weakly. 

“Well, I couldn’t exactly say no,” Emily said. Then she paused, shaking her head. “I’m glad you’re okay, Jessica.” Em walked into Jess’s house and they sat across from each other. “So, why did you call me?” Emily asked.

Jess tucked a piece of hair behind her ear. She sighs. “I just wanted to talk to you.”

“Well, I’m here. What’s up?”

“Dr. Hill says I can’t keep running away from my problems. He says I need to face the people who’ve hurt me,” Jess said. Emily blinked, surprised at her bluntness. It wasn’t like her. “And people I’ve hurt.”

“Okay.” Emily didn’t know what else to say. 

“I just wanted to say I was sorry. We used to be best friends.”

“I miss that,” Emily said. “How close we were in high school.”

“Me too. I’m really sorry for the things that happened between us. The whole Mike thing was stupid. And I can’t believe I let some guy get in between us.” 

“He has that effect. Bringing out the worse in people.” 

Jess laughed halfheartedly. “Yeah, I don’t know what I saw in him. But I can’t blame him for what happened between us. That was all my fault.”

“I mean I was an asshole about it too. And I slept with him when I knew you two were together just to spite you,” Emily said. “And I’m sorry for that.” 

“It’s okay. I just want to get past it. Seems like another life honestly.”

“It does,” Emily agreed. They sat in silence for a moment. This was good, Emily thought. It was a start. 

She did miss Jess. No one ever made her laugh as hard as Jess had. No one knew more of her secrets than Jess. She was a good friend up until what happened with Mike. 

“How is Michael?” Jess asked tentatively. 

“I don’t really know. I don’t talk to him much. He spends a lot of time with Sam.”

“Oh,” Jess said.

“I don’t think it’s like that, Jess,” Emily said. “At least that what Sam says. I don’t entirely believe her though.”

“Are they happy?” she asked next. 

“Stupid question, Jess,” Emily said. “No. No, they’re not happy.” She paused. “Are any of us?” 

 

Interlude Cont. 

Ashley spent a lot of her time asking herself why Chris saved her. 

Why and how he could possibly have chosen her over his best friend of over ten years. She wasn’t worth it. 

She couldn’t be his damsel in distress. He couldn’t be her knight in shining armor. They couldn’t live like the movies. Not after what happened on the mountain. 

Ashley didn’t believe in true love. She had been raised a realist by her dad. Her mother had abandoned them after she was born. Ashley still to this day didn’t understand the heartlessness that woman possessed, but she was positive she had inherited that trait.

The closest thing Ash ever saw to true love was the way Josh looked at Sam when she wasn’t looking. But even that ended before it began.   
She didn’t quite know why she ignored Sam’s calls and texts. Dealing with Chris’s grief was enough, she couldn’t deal with Sam too. Her and Sam were pretty good friends. They were the ones that stayed in touch the most when Matt, Em, Chris, and her moved away to college. But now it was just too hard. She didn’t know what to say. 

Sam stopped calling after a month, after Ashley sent a text saying she was okay. Maybe after everything calmed down Ashley would call her and apologize for ignoring her. But that wasn’t going to be anytime soon. It was just too hard. 

Things with Chris didn’t change. They remained friends. Nothing else. Their little crush on each other seemed stupid now, considering everything that had happened. She had even kissed him that night. Before he went after Josh. It made her cheeks red just to think about it. 

She tried to be there for him with whatever he needed. She stayed at the hospital when he had his surgery, and drove him around while his ankle healed. But she wasn’t there entirely for his sake. She stuck around for her own selfish reasons, too.

Her feelings for him hadn’t changed; she didn’t think they ever would. But she couldn’t expect him to want to jump into a relationship after his best friend died. If he just needed her to be a friend right now, that’s what she was going to do. 

She just wanted to see him smile again.


	18. Chapter 18

Sam   
Sidewalk  
7:00

Part of her hoped he would run after her. But he didn’t. It was better off this way. 

Where would she go now? She couldn’t go back to Mike’s house. 

She could keep thinking this way. Mike was Mike. He was her friend. A friend from a distance. That’s what she had to do now. Keep her distance. 

She couldn’t go back to her parent’s house either. She hadn’t spoken to them since they told her Josh was dead. They hadn’t so much as called to check on how she was doing. 

Mike had tried to convince her she’d feel better about the whole thing if she would just confront them and talk it out. She brushed him off, always changing the subject. What did he know about shitty parents? He had a great mother, two brothers. He had a family.

It was April now. The snow was melting. How had so much time snuck by without her noticing?

All of her things were still at his house. She needed to go get them and get the hell out of dodge. She didn’t know where. She imagined him coming home to an empty room. All her stuff gone, like it had never been her in the first place. Her chest tightened at the thought. 

Had she just called it home?

Fuck. 

“I guess you’re not done running yet, are you?” Mike’s voice came from behind her. It was a sound softer than anger but harder than concern. 

She turned around, stopping in her tracks. Mike was trying to catch up with her, seeming a bit out of breath when he finally did. His cheeks were rosy from the biting wind. 

“You run away from everything. I guess it was stupid of me to think I wouldn’t be next,” Mike said. 

“Excuse me?” 

“You heard me, Sammy. Don’t act like it’s not true. You ran away from your parents. You won’t even talk to Dr. Hill. You ran away from Josh. Now you’re about to do the same to me.” 

“Don’t bring Josh into this, Michael. It’s not about him.” She pointed her finger at him and jabbed him in the chest. 

“It is though; don’t you realize that?” Mike said. “It’s always been about him. That’s why you took me to the playground, isn’t it? You’re trying to reconcile it with him whether it’s okay to feel this way about me or not.” 

“Don’t act like you know how I feel.” 

“You don’t think I feel guilty about it too?” Mike said. “Josh was my friend too. I knew how he felt about you. We both know Hannah and Beth were my fault. And—“

Fuck. He had to tell her now. He would never have the courage to again. “And Josh? Sam, I fucking left him down there. Han—the Wendigo pulled me under the water but she let me go. By the time—”

She took a step back from him. “You what?” She sucked in a breath like she’d just been punched in the stomach. 

“I was so sure that the Wendigo had killed him. All I heard were screams and—and when I opened my eyes they were gone. Sam, I swear to God, if I had known he survived…”

“You? You did what?” She bit her lip, tears forming in her eyes. 

“I thought he was dead. I swear to God, Sam. There was nothing I could do.”

Sam eyes were so blurred by tears she could only see the outline of Mike’s body. She started to shake her head, not truly believing what she was hearing. “And you think—“ She swallowed hard, trying to keep her sobs at bay. “You think I could ever love you after that?” Her voiced cracked with the last sentence. Both were so upset, the word ‘love’ didn’t even register with them.

“Sam—“ He tried to reach out for her. Tears were falling from his eyes too. “Sam, don’t.” 

“No.” She pulled away from his outstretched arm. “This was all just some kind of atonement for you, wasn’t it?” She paused, but he didn’t have anything to say. “It was never about your feelings for me. Was it? It was about your guilt.” She wiped tears from her cheeks, but they were coming too fast. “It was about you. It was always about you Michael Munroe.” He didn’t answer. “Isn’t it?” She said, louder now. 

“Fuck, Sam. You don’t understand. This wasn’t about guilt. It’s about you and me. Please just hear me out.”

She looked at him. He had lost weight in the past few months. The muscle he used to have on his arms and shoulders had lessened. He wasn’t scrawny by any means. But he was smaller, weaker. It’s like she was watching him slowly disappear. He looked desperate, scared. She hadn’t seen him look this way since that night. She shook the thought out of her head. 

“Doesn’t matter. You lied to me, Michael. I told you everything. I trusted you,” she said. “You say ‘Sam tell me what’s wrong. Sam you can trust me.’ But you know what Michael? This is exactly why I don’t fucking trust people. They let me down every single time.” 

“Sam, please. I never meant to hurt you. I lo—“

“Don’t,” she cut him off harshly. She knew what he was about to say, she was choking back the same words, and if she let him say it, she wouldn’t be able to walk away. “Everyone was right about you. You are an awful person,” she spit out. Alright, so that was harsh. But she was so angry it didn’t matter. 

“You kissed me, remember?” 

“Before I knew you were a liar,” she said. “You’re a coward, Michael. Not because you left Josh. But because you couldn’t fucking tell me.” 

Mike was speechless. 

“Then I guess we’re done here.” She turned on her heel and Mike watched the girl he loved walk away from him for the second time today.

 

Sam  
???  
7:13

She was out of places to go. Out of places to run. She called Emily.

“Em?” she asked, trying to control her voice, but failing miserably. 

“Sam? What’s wrong?” she asked concerned.

“Um, can I—Can you—“ Sam couldn’t even form a sentence she was so upset.

“Sam? Where are you? What’s wrong? I’m in town. Let me pick you up. Just tell me where you are.”

Emily got there ten minutes later. She found Sam sitting on the curb, wind blowing her hair in all different directions. She threw the car in park and got out. 

“Sam, what’s wrong?” Emily asked. She helped her up and led her to the car. “Sam, you’re freaking me out.” 

“Just drive,” she said finally. Her throat was raw. 

“Where?”

“Anywhere,” Sam said. She wiped her cheeks with her sleeve, looking out of the window. Emily started driving. 

 

Mike  
Munroe Household  
1:36

He was a piece of shit. Sam was right. Sam deserved better than him. He was stupid to think she could ever love him. 

He loved her. He was sure of that now. He’d never felt this strongly about something before. But it didn’t matter how he felt. She was right. She should hate him for everything he’d done. 

He didn’t deserve someone like Sam. Or Emily. Or Jess. He deserved everything she had said to him. He deserved more than that even. There was a reason no one went to him with their problems. There was a reason none of his friends tried to reach out to him and talk. 

He laid in bed, replaying what had happened over and over in his head. Sleep was definitely off the table. He looked over at the prescription Dr. Hill had written for him. 

He turned in bed, facing away from the pills. He didn’t want go down that road yet. It felt weird sleeping alone again after all this time. He’d gotten used to her body next to his. He was used to the way she would cuddle closer to him in her sleep, and mumble his name. 

Wolfie whined next to him, nudging Mike’s palm. 

“I know. I know,” he said, petting the dog. “I miss her too.” 

Wolfie whined again and rested his head against Mike’s chest and yawned. “Life must be easy for you, huh, boy?” Wolfie huffed, not opening his eyes. “I thought so.” 

 

Sam  
Emily’s house  
10:12

“Why haven’t you asked me about it?” Sam asked. She was sitting in Emily’s kitchen, sipping green tea. Her hair was up in a bun, with flyaways framing her face. Her face was splotchy and swollen from crying. She was still wearing one of Mike’s t-shirts. She wanted to rip it off, but she didn’t have the energy.

“About what?” Em asked. She was drinking black coffee, pretending not to notice how bad Sam looked. She had never seen her this upset before.

“About why I freaked the hell out. Why I asked you to pick me up?”

“I assumed you didn’t want to talk about it.” Em paused, setting her coffee mug down. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“No.”

“You’re the one who brought it up,” Em pointed out. “I think you want to talk about it.”

Sam sighed. “It’s complicated.” 

“Would this happen to have anything to do with our dear class president, Michael Munroe?” 

She flinched. God, even his name hurt. “What makes you think that?” she asked evenly.

“So that’s a yes then,” Em said.

“I’m sorry, Em,” Sam said. “It was never meant to turn into this.” 

“Don’t apologize to me. I couldn’t give less of a shit. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I think you can do a lot better than Mike. But your choice.”

Sam sniffed, unaware of the tears that had suddenly appeared in her eyes. “It doesn’t matter. He lied to me.” 

“Mike lies to everyone.” 

“I thought that night changed him. But I guess not.” 

“What’d he lie about?” 

“He left Josh in the mines. After we found Josh and got the cable car key, I climbed out to find all of you and he stayed back with Josh to go the long way. The Wendigo—“ She almost said “Hannah”, but nobody but her, Mike, and Josh knew about that. “The Wendigo got him. And Mike did nothing about it.” 

Emily stayed silent. “Not everyone can be Superman,” she said. Sam looked confused. “Look, I know, you’re like perfect, or whatever, but the rest of us? We’re not.” 

Sam wiped the tears forming at the corners of her eyes. 

“I pushed Ashley,” Emily said.

“What?” 

“Down in the basement. When the Wendigo were chasing us, I pushed her out of the way so I could escape first. That could’ve killed her. I could’ve killed her.”

“I don’t understand.”

“We all lived in Josh’s world that night. We all saw the darkest part of ourselves. The lengths we would go to in order to survive.”

“That’s hypocritical, Em. You’re still mad he almost shot you. It’s the same thing.”

“But, when it comes down to it, I realized I probably would have done the same thing.” Em paused. “Look, I’m definitely not telling you to give him another chance. But I’m just saying what happened that night was fucked up and none of us were thinking straight. And in the end he saved us all. You both did.”


	19. Chapter 19

Sam   
Dr. Hill’s Office  
18:12

“Mike has said he is worried about you,” Dr. Hill said. 

Sam’s brow furrowed. “What happened to doctor-patient confidentiality?” 

“He wanted me to tell you that. He said you weren’t talking to him,” he said. 

“What’d he tell you?” Sam asked, too curious to keep silent. She made eye contact with the doctor, which was rare as she looked just about everywhere but at Dr. Hill.

“Probably not as much as you think, Samantha. Anything he says about you I have to pull out of him because he really doesn’t like to talk about you,” Dr. Hill said. “Why do you think that is?” 

“I don’t know. You’re the doctor; you tell me,” she challenged. 

“Well,” he started. “Tell me if I’m wrong, but I think you mean a lot to him, but I also think he feels guilty and ashamed about it because of your relationship with Josh.” 

Sam’s breath hitched in her throat. “What do you know about that?” 

“You forget I was Josh’s therapist for two years.” 

Sam’s cheeks burned. Of anger or embarrassment, she wasn’t sure. Probably both. “Are you taunting me?” she asked. 

“No, Samantha,” he said, slightly offended. “Of course not.”

Sam stayed silent. 

“I know you’re not my biggest fan, but you are going to have talk about what happened sooner or later. I know you want don’t want to keep coming here, but I can’t sign off on your wellbeing until you talk to me,” Dr. Hill said. 

She sighed. He was right. She had to get out of here one way or another. But she wasn’t going to give it up that easily. “Mike said I meant a lot to him?”

Dr. Hill sat back in his chair. “Yes, but I think you already know that.”

Sam made a noncommittal sound that could’ve been a yes or a no. 

“How do you feel?” he asked.

“I don’t know,” she said, probably a bit too fast. Dr. Hill raised an eyebrow. 

“Oh?”

“I’m angry at him. I know that.”

“Why is that?”

“Did he not tell you?” she asked, surprised.

“He told me you said he was an awful person and that he agreed, but that’s about it, Samantha. Whatever secrets you two have, he’s keeping them.”

“Yeah, he’s good at keeping secrets,” she said annoyed. “He left Josh in the mines and then he lied to me about it. He just left him. He didn’t even try.”

“What do you mean?”

“When we were in the mines I climbed out to find the others and Mike stayed with Josh so they could go out the way we came in. But the Wendigo dragged Josh away. Mike told me the Wendigo got to him. But Josh was still alive. And Mike didn’t even try. He didn’t even fucking try.” She paused. “I thought he cared about me,” Sam said. “I really thought he’d changed. God, I’m just like all the other girls now.”

“But if he didn’t care, like you seem to think, he wouldn’t have a reason to ever tell you the truth.”

Sam stayed silent, thinking about what the doctor said.

“Do you blame him for what happened to Josh?” he asked next.

Sam didn’t say anything because how could she blame Mike? How could she expect him to risk his life like that? Yes, she had risked her life when she called out to that Wendigo in the lodge, but the truth was, she didn’t just do it for Mike. She did it for all of them. Em, Ashley, Chris… even herself. They needed Mike. The plan wouldn’t work without him. Sam couldn’t have done it alone, and honestly, she couldn’t have relied on any of the others to stick their neck out the way Mike had. The others ran out of the lodge as soon as they could without another thought. 

Mike would’ve sacrificed everything for them. He did sacrifice everything the moment he decided to move toward that light bulb. She remembered his words. They rang through her head constantly. 

Don’t. Fucking. Move. A. Muscle.

Then he had looked from the fireplace, to the light bulb, to the switch and then to her. And she had nodded at him.

Yes, we may die trying to do this. But we have to try. Somebody has to escape this alive. Somebody has to tell our story. Even if it’s not us. 

The next thing she knew she was running out of the lodge and flipping the switch. The explosion had sent her flying. At least 20 feet? She had landed hard on her back. There was a bruise there for weeks from the rocks she had landed on. And then she saw the outline of the helicopter and she got up. Mike had run to her side, and grabbed her arm. She didn’t know why. But it kept her grounded.

“Samantha?” Dr. Hill asked, noting her silence. “Do you blame yourself for what happened to Josh?”

Sam felt her face crumpled, and her chest heaved with a sob she couldn’t control. “I shouldn’t have left him.” 

“People often project their own guilt onto others. It’s very normal, Samantha,” Dr. Hill said. “Especially people in your situation.”

“None of this is fucking normal.” 

“Maybe not now, but eventually it will be. You will get past this. All of you will.” 

“I don’t think I can forgive him,” Sam said. “Everybody thinks I’m such a great person, but I’m not,” she said. “Not anymore. I can’t keep being that person. Maybe I was before, but that person died that night at the lodge. That person died with Josh.”

“Samantha, I don’t think the question is whether you can forgive Mike. I think it’s whether you can forgive yourself.” 

She stayed silent. 

“Samantha, I want you to do some homework this week. I want you to think about the things that are making you feel guilty. I want you to write them down and really think about why you feel the way you do about them. And we can talk about it in your next session,” Dr. Hill said. “You did really good today, Sam. I want you to keep this up. It only gets easier.”

 

Sam  
Em’s Apartment  
1:03

Writing the list was hard. First of all, she felt stupid just writing it. She did it after Em and her roommates had long gone to sleep. All was quiet and dark. 

Number one on the list was the prank. It’d been over a year and she still ran the night over and over in her head asking herself what she could’ve done differently. She had lost two of her closest friends that night. God, what she wouldn’t do to just talk to them one more time. Her chest ached just thinking about it. Before everything happened and Sam decided to stay at home to be with Josh, she and Hannah were going to go to college together. They were supposed to be roommates. Hannah said it was going to be the best years of their lives. This year had turned out to the worst year of Sam’s life.

Next was telling Josh that she needed a break. The weekend on the lodge was going to be her chance to apologize for all the shit that went down. She didn’t want to go to the lodge at first, but Josh had invited her personally. They hadn’t spoken in months. She never got the chance to apologize for leaving him. She was too late. He was still angry about it. That had to be why he did those things to scare her. She didn’t know he could do something that like to her. She never quite understood the disorders that he was suffering from. He didn’t ever talk about it. She had convinced herself that wasn’t him that night. He was having a psychotic episode. He didn’t know what he was doing. He couldn’t have. He wouldn’t do that to her. Not on purpose. 

Mike didn’t deserve what she said to him. She had called him an awful person. But he wasn’t. He was far from it. He was the only thing keeping her from completely losing her mind. What happened to Josh wasn’t his fault. She couldn’t blame him for wanting to live. She couldn’t keep projecting her own guilt onto him. Would he even want an apology at this point? Or was Mike destined to become just a memory like the rest of her friends?

She shouldn’t have spent so much time with him. It was selfish. Maybe not those first few nights, but after… It formed into something she still couldn’t really explain. Dr. Hill said it was normal for friends to become closer or even form a kind of co-dependency after a traumatic incident. But was that what they were? Friends? She didn’t think so. But could they even be more than friends after all the shit that happened? 

She had loved Josh. Maybe it was never in a normal way, but she had. And in the end, she never got to tell him that. She wasn’t prepared to let the same thing happen with Mike. She couldn’t lose someone else she cared about. Someone else she loved.


	20. Chapter 20

Mike  
Bedroom  
3:37

Mike couldn’t remember the last time he slept more than 3 hours straight. Correction, he could remember. It was the last night Sam spent with him, but he tried not to think about her. 

It was near impossible as it turned out. Her side of the bed still smelled like her shampoo, no matter how many times he washed the sheets. Wolfie missed her too. He could tell. Wolfie barely ate more than Mike these days. 

He had called and texted her countless times. He felt like all the annoying girls who used to call and text him in high school. Not even Emily would take his phone calls. That’s where Sam had to be. She wouldn’t have gone back to her parent’s house. He knew better than to call and ask though. Her parents thought she was with him. 

One day, Em texted him after one of his many attempts to contact Sam. She doesn’t want to fucking talk to you, Michael. Give her some space. So Mike stopped texting.

So he went to school, went to work, went to therapy, went home. And that was it. He even asked Dr. Hill about her. But of course he was no help.

So things got desperate. He wasn’t sleeping. He would fall asleep in class, even in therapy. Dr. Hill wrote him a stronger prescription of sleeping pills, along with one for antidepressants. 

Hill was a lot of things. One of them was generous with drugs. 

He could understand why Josh stopped taking his meds now. They made Mike feel weird. Not like himself. But not being himself was a good thing these days. So he kept taking them. 

And then one day he accidently took too many. It was only half on accident. Mike didn’t want to die, but he wasn’t sure if he wanted to live either. So he took a gamble. Maybe the pills wouldn’t kill him and then he’d know for sure if he wanted to live, but maybe they would kill him and he wouldn’t have to worry about it anymore.

This isn’t because of Sam, he kept thinking to himself over and over. It’s fucking everything else. Everything but her. And she’s better off without him and she knows it. 

He couldn’t help but call her though. He had to hear her voice again because he didn’t know if he ever would again. 

“Hey, this is Sam’s phone. If you’re not Josh, fuck off,” the voicemail said. You could hear Sam laughing in the background. “Josh!” she said. “Sorry, I’ll get back to you ASAP. Leave a message! Bye.” Josh had made that for her a long time ago. She had probably forgotten about it by now. Josh’s voice pulsed through Mike’s head. Mike wondered if he had been planning the prank when he recorded this. Could he hear the betrayal in Josh’s voice? 

“Sammy,” he said. “Hey. I’m sorry I’m a shitty person. I just…” He sighed. “I don’t even know what I want to say. I don’t want you to forgive me anymore. It’s easier for both of us if you stay angry at me for the rest of our lives….” He paused. Fuck. His life might not last though the night.

“Sammy, I don’t know if I’m going to make it through this.” Fuck, he could fill tears rising in his eyes. “It isn’t about you. You’re right. It’s about me. It’s about guilt. It’s about making things right… I never put you first. I’m doing that now. I swear to God. I’m putting you first. I need you to be okay. Em and Jess… I know them. They’re not going to make it out without being majorly fucked up for life. Fuck knows about the rest of them. But you. You’re the one that stands a chance. You don’t deserve any of this. What happened to Josh, Hannah, Beth… me, maybe. You don’t deserve it. You deserve everything. I’m sorry. I’m sorry I fell in love with you and then ruined everything. Or I’m sorry I ruined everything and then fell in love with you. I guess the order doesn’t really matter. 

“Sam, I’m tired. I’m going to go to sleep. And if I wake up tomorrow I’m going to regret all of this. And—fuck, I’m just really sorry, okay?” 

The world spun and he hung up the phone, flopping over on his bed, the phone falling to his side. 

 

The bed buzzed sometime later. No wait, it’s the phone. The phone buzzed. But his arms were lead and he couldn’t move them. 

A wendigo waited for him silently in the corner of the room. There was a blurry tattoo on its arm. 

“I killed you.” Was he talking to Hannah or the Wendigo? “So kill me.” 

It took him by the throat and the world went black. 

 

 

Someone was humming. 

Sam. It was Sam.

She was humming the tune to the song she played for him at her house. That day felt so far away. She was playing with his hair too. He tried to say her name, but his mouth wasn’t working properly. 

He felt himself drifting again. 

 

Mike woke up in a bed. He groaned involuntarily. His insides ached. He was attached to a IV drip. The hospital room he was in was white and sterile.

A TV was on in the corner. It was on silent but the headline on the bottom of the screen read “One of the Blackwood Seven rushed to the hospital after apparent suicide attempt.” A cheery brunette woman reported on the story. If he had the energy, he would have rolled his eyes.

Sam was holding his hand. She was sitting next to his bed, slumped over, her head resting on her sweater as a makeshift pillow. 

He never felt more relieved to see someone. He squeezed her hand. 

His hospital room door opened and Mike’s eyes snapped up to the movement, involuntarily tensing. 

The nurse smiled when he saw Mike was awake. “Good to see you’re awake, he whispered as not to wake Sam. Mike narrowed his eyes in confusion. “Your girlfriend brought you in. You were barely hanging in there. It’s okay if you don’t remember right away.”

The nurse took his pulse and checked his vitals. “She hasn’t left your side since you checked in. You should let her sleep.”

“Okay,” he said, his mouth dry. What had he done last night? “It was an accident,” he told the nurse. “My doctor had just changed my meds and I was confused.” 

“It’s okay, Michael. We can talk about all of this later. Right now, I need you to rest,” the nurse said. 

He drifted off again after that. 

 

The next time he woke up it was night. Sam wasn’t next to him. He blinked a couple of times until the room came into focus again. She was sitting in a corner with her laptop open. 

“Sam,” he said. But his voice was so hoarse and dry that nothing came out. He swallowed and tried again. “Sammy.”

She blinked, looking up. “Mike?” She got up quickly. “Hey, they told me you woke up, but I was asleep. I told them to wake me up as soon as you were awake,” she said annoyed. “But it’s okay. You’re awake now.”

“You’re still here,” he said. This wasn’t a question.

“I am still here,” she repeated.

“We both are.” 

They thought back to what she had written on the playground. Mike and Sam are still here.

“I’m really tired of saying I’m sorry,” Sam said. 

“I am too. We’ve been sorry for long enough,” he said. “Let’s just forget it, okay? Just the bad parts.”

“Okay,” she said.


	21. Chapter 21

One year after dawn 

They passed their final exams with flying colors. They both applied to the same four-year university a couple hours away and received their acceptance letters at the same time. Mike was going to pursue a degree in criminal justice, and Sam decided on nursing. 

Mike and Sam got out of their contract with Dr. Hill after what happened to Mike. They found a counselor that could actually help them. Sam started taking anxiety medicine for the days when it got really bad. Mike took antidepressants daily, but stopped the sleeping medicine all together. 

Slowly, color had returned to their faces. The bags under their eyes faded. They started to gain back the weight they’d lost in those first few months. Mike got used to life with only eight fingers. Sam’s pain of losing her best friend dulled. It hadn’t gone away fully; she didn’t ever think it would. But it was bearable with Mike by her side. She decided Josh would want her to be happy. That’s all he’d ever wanted when it came to her. 

Sam and Mike moved into a small one-bedroom apartment twenty minutes from their university. It was pretty shitty, but Sam finally had place to call her home. Mike became a bartender, and Sam worked at a gym and tanning salon, but they still struggled with rent sometimes. Sam refused any money from her parents. 

Sam talked to Emily regularly on the phone. At least once a month one of them would make the four-hour drive to see the other until Emily announced that she was graduating in August and had received an internship at a fashion magazine in New York. 

Eventually, Ashley and Chris started dating. Sam and Mike didn’t know until Ashley posted a picture of her engagement ring on Instagram that Christmas. Sam texted them a congratulations but didn’t receive a response. Jess was doing well according to Facebook. She and Matt were closer than they’d ever been before. She was due to start college in the fall. She didn’t ever try to reach out to Sam or Mike, but they respected her decision. 

The first anniversary of the night on the mountain was hard on both of them. Sam stayed in bed most of the day, skipping class and calling in sick to work. Mike had to work a double shift that day, but it was in the back of his mind. He brought Sam her favorite flowers that night and they slow danced to Elvis in the living room, with Wolfie circling in between their legs the entire time. 

 

Two years after dawn

Mike bought Sam a used piano for her birthday so she could start to play again. She had briefly mentioned how much she missed it, but didn’t think much of it. Sam rediscovered her love for writing music. Sometimes Mike would just sit next to her as she played and watched her fingers fly across the keys. It was one of his favorite things to do. 

They were 21 now and mature beyond their years. They stopped talking about the past as much. It became such a distant memory, such a dream. It was easier to live in the present. Mike’s nightmares were fewer and further between as were Sam’s panic attacks. 

A shitty TV movie was made about the investigations of Blackwood Mountain and aired on Lifetime. Emily was in town visiting Sam and slept on their couch. All three of them got drunk and watched it, finding humor in just how ridiculous it was and ignoring the parts they got right. The guy who played Josh in the movie was the only one who had a semi successful career after that train wreck of a movie. 

Ashley and Chris broke off their engagement that year. Ashley graduated and moved away. She seemed happy though. Chris started making indie video games with his college roommate. One of the apps he created made it to the most popular page.

Matt and Jess finally changed their Facebook status to ‘in a relationship’ and Sam ‘liked’ both of their statuses. Jess’s scars were still prominent. Emily told Sam that Jess’s parents offered to pay for plastic surgery but Jess refused. She wore them like a trophy. Her eyes just dared for someone to challenge her on them. She still took selfies constantly.

Sam admired that. 

 

Three years after dawn 

They graduated that year. Sam and Mike had saved up enough money to take a vacation after graduation. They went to Colorado. Sam had always wanted to go because of all the good hiking and climbing spots. 

He proposed to her that weekend. It wasn’t really planned. He didn’t even have a ring. They were in bed one morning. Mike was absentmindedly playing with her hair and watching the news while she slept. 

It was raining outside. “If I had known,” he said, more to himself than Sam. He thought she was asleep. “If I had known how important you were going to be to me, I would have grabbed you and kissed you the first day Josh introduced you to me, right there in front of everyone. You would’ve punched me, but it would’ve been worth it. You were dating some asshole whose name neither of us can remember and I was dating Em. God, how long ago was that? 7 years? I never knew 22 would feel this old. But I guess we’ve lived through a lot, huh? I’m going to marry the fuck out of you one day.” 

Sam squeaked. Mike jumped slightly at the sound of her voice. “What’d you say?” She sat up slightly, to look him in the eyes.

“I thought you were asleep.” 

Sam giggled. “Yeah, I was. Until you started talking to me.” 

“Oh, sorry,” he said. He felt his face get hot.

“Finish what you were saying,” she said, her green eyes boring a hole through him. 

“That was it really,” he stammered. He didn’t ever really get nervous, but he was now. “I just love you and I want to marry you. If that’s cool?” he asked. 

“Yeah,” she said softly, setting her head down on his chest again. “Yeah, that’s cool.” 

He laughed slightly. “Sorry,” he said. “That was kind of a shitty way to do that. I can try again later.”

“No, don’t. It was you. And it was perfect,” Sam said, kissing his nose. He smiled. 

They made love and ordered champagne and strawberries from room service. 

 

Four years after dawn 

Mike had applied to a few different law schools and got accepted to one in California. It was a big move, but they were ready for it. They were tired of the snow and the cold after so many years and were looking forward to the sunshine. 

They were on opposite schedules. Sam started working the graveyard shift at a hospital so when Mike was getting up in the morning for class, Sam was just getting home from her shift. 

They both had lots of student debt. It just didn’t make sense to try to pay for a wedding while Mike was still in school. The wedding was put on the back burner.

They looked back on this as the hardest time in their relationship.

Matt and Jessica got married that year. Emily was one of her bridesmaids. Sam cried during the ceremony and Mike held her hand. They sat in the back row. Jess made for the most beautiful bride. Matt looked at her like she was his entire world. 

Emily got a little too drunk at the reception and Sam had to hold her hair back while she threw up in the bathroom and mumbled about being happy and sad at the same time. 

 

Five years

They became parents that year. It was a girl. She had Sam’s eyes. They named her Ana Elizabeth Munroe. It was a tribute to the two friends they had lost so long ago, but it hurt to much to name her directly after them. They decided they didn’t want those names to hang over their daughter for her entire life. They ended up calling her by her middle name most of the time. 

They would explain everything that happened to them when they were teenagers eventually. They hadn’t figured out exactly how to do it yet, but they had plenty of time to figure it out. 

The friends drifted apart as the years went on. Most friends from high school do. It was natural. And no one wanted to dredge up the past again. 

Things weren’t ever perfect. For any of them. Mike and Sam still hadn’t officially gotten married yet. Sometimes they thought about just driving to the courthouse and getting it over with, but part of Sam still wanted to do something right. 

Mike and Sam had always done things backwards. They had moved in together before they even started officially dating. They slept in the same bed before they ever had sex. They had a child before they got married. Sam at least wanted a traditional wedding with all her friends.

They rarely talked about that night . Sometimes Mike would still scream in his sleep until Sam woke him up and sometimes when Sam went hiking she suddenly felt like she was being watched and have to leave immediately because of the intense flashbacks. Sometimes they still talked about it in hushed tones under the covers because it would never be something they could completely forget. It was always going to be there in the back of their minds. 

They got recognized every once and a while, but it was rare. It was a long process, but eventually they found peace with what had happened to them. And everything was okay. Not all the time. But everything was okay.


End file.
